road trip

it always sounds so fun to me...

I have visions of great conversations

good music

fun junk food

great coffee

and then I remember that I'm not in college anymore...

and road trips now include my kids...

and this last road trip was JUST me and my kids...

no other adult backup...

they start out fun...

with a surprise, 

the kids had no idea that I had been planning to take them on a little trip...

so much fun to surprise them...

and we turn the music up...and rock out for a few songs,

then the kids want some of the fun junk food...

but mom is boring and didn't pack tons of junk food, just some good-for-you snacks...

(the girl child gets car sick, so junk food is a no-go on road trips)

still that's okay, they're snacking away...

and then they're touching each other, 

and then not sharing the snacks

and then the hitting starts

and the whining

and the 'he/she is touching me-sticking out their tongue-looking at me funny' drama

and then I look at the clock and realize that we are only 20 minutes into this 4 hour road trip!

what the HECK was I thinking!

the next 3 hrs and 40 minutes is torture...I think I'd rather take my kids grocery shopping after school...then go thru that again!

I pulled out all the wonderful deep Cosby parenting lectures...

I brought you into this world I could take you out...

I WILL turn this car around...
The next child that makes a sound will get their tongue removed...

and then...

then...

I did it...I dropped the "s" bomb....

I said 'stupid!'....

I asked them why they were acting stupid (key phrase here, I didn't CALL them stupid, I asked why there were ACTING stupid....)

and then I told them I was going to have to call up Uncle Luke and Aunt Julie (our destination for this road trip) and say,
"sorry we can't come, I really wanted to come visit you, but my children are being idiots and I can't bring idiots to your house!"
yeah not proud of that one...
well, not too proud of that one...

I grounded them from dinner, told them that as soon as we walked in the door they would walk straight to the guest room and go straight to bed....

I tried to use the, "I am trying to be fun and to do fun things with you and this is how you repay me" card...

I also tried to reason with myself...

they are just being normal...

they are only kids...

they are excited...

they were in school ALL day and now you expect them to sit nice and calm on a 4 hr road trip...what were you drinking when you made these plans genius?! 

what I learned on this trip...

1.  I love myself kids too much to do that again without their father.

2.  pack more food...and pack the good stuff...and let them eat it...because really, why not...who cares if they ruin their dinner....and just make sure the road trip is a pretty straight (I-5) trip so the girl child won't get sick...

3.  when you stop for coffee get the kids a 'free drink'...water...

4.  I  love that my kids ask me a ton of questions about music...they have this deep desire to really truly understand the heart of the song...what is the meaning behind it....

5.  I hate really dislike thinking about music...I am just a shallow girl who wants to sing the words that I know and enjoy the music, but having to talk about the theology of the music with my kids takes the fun out of it for me...

6.  I love that my kids judge the distance of road trips by "Dick Van Dyke" shows...my kids love watching the old Dick Van Dyke shows and they will ask, "How many Dick Van Dyke's will this take?"

7.  I am really glad that my daughter knows how to use my phone and can place calls for me since I have yet to join this century and do not own a blue tooth or any other hands free device! 

8.  A sick girl child for the return trip sounded like a start to a horrible nightmare...but actual turned out to be a blissfully quiet trip home!...

9.  Giving your kids the camera to document the trip aka keep them distracted a little bit longer...seems like a great idea in theory...