Letter to My Daughter

I heard on the radio this morning that the number one person that influences a girls personal image is her mother...eek!

There are also hundred's of studies that say how important a fathers role in a girls life is...
A healthy relationship with her brother is also very important...
Healthy relationships with her extended family are important...

I know this...I know that both my husband and I play a huge roll in our daughter's self image...
I also know I will fail her.
I know my husband will fail her.
Her brother will fail her..
Her grandparents, aunts, uncles & cousins will fail her...

Guess what, I don't need a study to tell me...
the number one most important relationship my daughter needs to become a healthy, responsible woman with a great self image...
Her relationship with her Creator God, Abba Father, Jesus Christ...

He.Will.Never. fail her!

and because of this I decided to write her a letter....

Dear Sweet Daughter of Mine,

I love you more than you can fathom {that is, until you have your own children, but until then}.  I want you to have a life filled to the brim with love & joy.

What I want you to know...need you to know.
You are designed to be loved.  
We all know that deep in our core, that we are created for love.  
But please never confuse what that love is.  You were created by the God of the universe to be loved by the God of the universe.  In the deepest part of your soul you will yearn for that love and search for that love.  
Make no mistake that you deserve that love, there is nothing wrong with this desire to be love.
But know this,
that NO man, no woman, no child on this earth that can love you enough to fulfill that need.  
God created that desire so that you would seek Him.

I love you more than you can fathom, but my love for you is nothing compared to God.
Your father loves you more than you can fathom, but his love is nothing compared to God's love for you.

Also, I am so very blessed to have met, fallen in love with, married and fallen more in love with your father.  
But guess what...
He is not my soul mate...  
He does not 'complete me'...
If for some reason your father was not in my life I would be sad, terribly sad, but I would go on and live the life that God created me to live, because my life is not set on a earthly man that I have chosen to live my life with.  No man on earth can make me whole!
My life is set on the Heavenly Father I have chosen to seek after.

You are beautiful.  Yes, I am your mother and because of that I will always believe you are beautiful.  But I also know that you are beautiful because of who created you.  
No article of clothing, hair style, make up brush can make you more beautiful than God Himself.  I will tell you that you are beautiful, your father will tell you that you are beautiful, your grandparents, friends, aunts & uncle, will tell you that you are beautiful {your brother may not, but that's just because he's your little brother!}, and someday, when you are grown {35'ish}, men will tell you that you are beautiful...those words, my words, "daughter, you are beautiful" aren't what make you beautiful!  You need to tuck this away in your heart, hear it over and over, what makes you beautiful is that the God of the Universe, the God that formed the stars in the sky, the mountains & oceans, paints the sunsets each night, that God...He.Created.You.  He formed you!  He drew the curve of your cheek, placed the twinkle in your eyes, counted every hair on your head, knew the size of your feet and the strength of your legs....  He is why you are beautiful!  You are not beautiful because your father and I tell you, you are beautiful because He says so!

That life filled to the brim with love & joy that I mentioned at the beginning of this letter...that isn't something that just happens.  And notice I didn't say a life without pain.  Not that I want you to have a life of pain, but I also know that pain helps us grow, that pain turns us to our Creator.  The greatest pain so far in my life was the first 17 days of your life...not knowing if you, my precious daughter, would live.  But that pain turned me into the arms of my God.  I sought out His Love and Peace and through that pain my life was filled with love & joy.  
God's plan for your life is to 
"prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 
{Jeremiah 29:11}......but don't stop reading the passage there...keep reading...
"Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord."
We need to seek God with all our heart...God's plan 'not to harm us' plays into the fact that we are seeking Him!  Not seeking a life free of pain, not seeking to be beautiful, not seeking to find a man to share it with...
When you seek God and allow HIS plan to dictate your life, that is when the remainder of His plan for prosperity & hope will become fulfilled ...
oh, and prosperity isn't 'the American dream'...God's idea of prosperity looks a little different.  Prosperity is a heart issue not a bank account number!

There is so much more that I want you to know.  So I will end this letter with...
"till next time!"
Your loving, faithful, full of mistakes mom!

Daddy Issues

This post has been in my heart for awhile now...and with Father's Day right around the corner I needed to get it out....

Don't we all have them...?
Daddy Issues

we have these images of superman type fathers...

Why is that?
I have a pretty decent, loving, good father...
but guess what, he's human!  My father was not, and is not, perfect!

I know women and men with daddy issues...
I know those that have never known their father
Those that wish they never knew their father
Those that had dads like mine
and those with amazing, Ward Cleaver fathers....

all of them...Have. Daddy. Issues...

why?  why is having daddy issues so universal?
maybe, just maybe, it's because we have this need ingrained into each and every one of us for a perfect heavenly Father.

Why do you think God tells us He is our father?  Maybe He knows...because He created us....that we all have this natural desire for a perfect father figure and yet no man on earth can ever 100% fulfill that roll!

Guess what else...?
we women,
we {and by 'we', I mean me} take these daddy issues and we bring them into our marriages...
however horrible or wonderful {or wherever they fall on the scale} our fathers were/are...we bring our daddy issues into our marriages and project them onto our husbands!  we either choose husbands that are the opposite of our fathers or husbands that are very similar to our fathers and then hold up these unrealistic expectations for them to be nothing like our fathers or everything like our fathers...

and when they fall short of either one of those marks we fight, kicking and screaming that they are failing us...
{pause...
I am in no way saying any husband is perfect...
just like no father is perfect, they are all human}
but as wives have we taken our daddy issues and rather than turn towards our Heavenly Father to fulfill our needs we turn towards our husband and try to mold him into something he can't possibly be.  trying to get him to fill shoes that he can never fill....

remember that stupid line from Jerry McGuire,
"you complete me!"...
UGH, I've hated that from the moment I heard it... but that's what we're all trying to find, we're trying to find the man that will fill all the holes that our earthly fathers left gaping open...God is the ONLY one that can complete us, and it's a lifelong journey!

we all have daddy issues...
because we all need a perfect dad
we try to mold our husbands using all the daddy issues we came into the relationship with...
we don't want our kids to have daddy issues
and we want our husbands to fill our need that our daddy issues left in us...
our fathers & our husbands also have daddy issues
and our kids... yep, they will have daddy issues also
we were created with a need that no earthly father can ever live into!

but guess what?
we have a perfect father...He can help heal our daddy issues, help our children with their daddy issues and help our marriages not suffer because of them....

See how very much our Father loves us, for He calls us His children, and that is what we are!

 ~ 1 John 3:1 

Your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

 ~ Matthew 6:8

I will be a Father to you and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.

 ~ 2 Corinthians 6:18 

it's just hair

whatever...

I don't have amazing hair
never have
it's thin, straight, limp,
with just your basic
     I-got-it-trimmed-approximately-4-months-ago-style
good thing I'm not a hair person...
or maybe I just don't care enough,
          maybe I have the potential for amazing hair but I'm too lazy
     {this is a very high likelihood!}

but I married AMAZING hair,
my husbands hair is full and wavy and amazing
he sadly had rocked a mullet in high school...and NO it was not the 80's!
{for the record I DID NOT know him during the mullet and was already hopelessly in love the first time I saw mullet pictures}
since we've been together {almost 17 years} he has had more hair styles than me!


and back on track...
our son has his father's amazing hair...





and has worn it pretty shaggy most of his life
{something about his weird mom not cutting off those precious curls until he was almost 3, but he was bald for so long!}

pretty sure the shaggy hair had something to do with a lazy busy mom that would forget to make an appointment for a hair cut and months and months would pass before she would realize that her son's hair was out of control!

there have been a few times that I attempted the 'trim' myself, and that always resulted in something the boy child likes to call a 'mushroom head'...so that doesn't happen any more.





anyways...
about a month ago I had made the guys a hair appointment
{this hair is too amazing for any ol' barber shop/walk-in-for-a-cut place!}
when Beau was getting ready to leave Wilson asked if he HAD to get his hair cut...
well, it's getting kinda long buddy...
Yeah, I want it long...
okay!

the guys after Beau's hair cut and Wilson's non-cut

it's only hair, we have 3 hair rules {that apply to both him and his sister}
1.  keep it brushed
2.  keep it clean
3.  keep it out of your eyes!

 this is the boy child, yesterday, rocking some sort of 1977 Shaw Cassidy look....

makes me chuckle when boys have hair touching their ears and I hear a parent say it's WAY past hair cut time!
it's just hair people!

Who Am I?

Why, Hello There!


You may {or may not} have notice my blog has been silent...
for over 4 months now I've blogged nothing!
zero.
zilch..
nada...

why?  why did I go silent?

it's been a lot of little reasons and a few not so little reason that have kept me quiet...

the first, maybe the biggest...
was the day after my last post
{I posted last on Thursday, Dec 13}
was Friday, December 14
Sandy Hook Elementary

that rocked me...
those little boys and girls
going to school
in a quiet small town
public school...
just like my kids...

I started to write a post the day after, Sat Dec 15, it has sat in my drafts folder all these months...
I had this overwhelming feeling of "Who Am I" to write about this loss, why do I get to chime in and have any sort of feeling for these families that are grieving!

Grief is personal...
it was their kids,
their school,
their town,
their state...

I also did NOT want to start {and still won't} a discussion on gun control....

....the more I thought about what happened at Sandy Hook...
the more I wanted to be present for my kids.
I also didn't want to write a trivial post about my collection of Nativities when something so devastating had happened... {not that Christmas and celebration the birth of Christ is trivial...but you know}

I was stuck between
     "who am I to write a blog about Sandy Hook"
          &
"I can't just ignore Sandy Hook and post a weekly menu"

so I decided to take a break, cherish my kids, and wait until it was time to come back...
and then Monday happened...
the Bombing of the Boston Marathon....
and it was just as horrific...
     {why does it have to be children, seriously!}

I'm in an 8 Week Get Healthy Challenge with some friends...and one of them shared this Bible verse on Monday....
 I have told you these things, 
     so that in me you may have peace. 
          In this world you will have trouble. 
               But take heart! 
                    I have overcome the world.
                            ~John 16:33

Guess What?  We live in a sinful fallen world...'in this world you will have trouble'
but that's not the end of the story....
HE has overcome the world...
AMEN....

lots of other things have happened over the past 4 months...
my life is busier...
but I DO want to still blog...
I will post about the changes in my life...
I will post about my journey of getting healthy...
I will post weekly menu's {when I remember}
I will post God Moments...
I will post the silly things my kids do...
I will post craft projects when I actually finish them...
but I will also blog around my family's schedule,

one thing I have learned from Sandy Hook, the Boston Bombing, and just all the tragedies of life is that cherishing moments with my kids and family is way more important than anything I can blog about!

see ya soon...

November 23

1}  I'm thankful for humor.  I am glad that I can laugh at myself, I can laugh with my husband and kids.  My kids are hilarious and crack me up all the time.  And I think laughter is one of the most important parts of a healthy marriage, or at least our marriage.

2}  I'm thankful for desserts...such a simple thing that brings such joy.

the pie tree! such a beautiful sight

3}  I'm thankful for where we live.  I love living in FAR Northern California.  It is truly one of the most beautiful places to live.  Yesterday my in-laws, daughter and I were able to participate in the annual Turkey Trot on the gorgeous Sacramento River Trail.  We have a wonderful trail system in Redding, with 100's of miles of paved trails just a few miles in all directions.  We live minutes from 2 beautiful lakes, about an hour from 2 beautiful mountains, just a few hours from the ocean. Today we will go out and explore more of our 'home' with the family.
I love this place, it is a gift from God.

November 21

1}  I'm so very thankful for God's protection over my family.

2}  I'm thankful for the guardrail on a road that I drive on everyday with my kids.  A guardrail that God used to save my kids and I from going down a 50 foot ravine.

3}  Thankful for those lessons that God teaches us.

Tuesday morning I was running errands with the kids, driving along.  My phone rings, I glance down, "Private Number," I ignore it...and then I have this stupid, "what if it's really important," thought so I grab for my blue tooth...can't find it, I look down to find it and in that moment...that 2 seconds with my eyes off the road...I drifted into a guardrail...drifted going 50 miles an hour...into a guardrail that was protecting a 50 foot ravine.  I swerved, over-corrected and went into the oncoming lane...NO ONE was there...I pulled it together and pulled over.  I got out and looked at the car.  Pretty banged up...but drive-able...I looked around...NO CARS...NO Traffic on this busy 2 days before Thanksgiving errand running day...

God protected us in so many ways.
  *a guardrail that I've never noticed, never thought about, being in the spot we needed it.
  *when I hit the guardrail, I hit it pretty much on the whole entire side of the van...equaling lots of damaged down the entire side of the van...but also just basic physics, had I hit with the front end we could have been tossed over the rail, had I hit the back it could have sent us into a spin, but hitting the whole side kept us pretty balanced.  I don't think I could have tried to hit it at a more 'perfect' angle if I wanted to...
  *Tuesday was a raining, blustery, monsoon like day.  There was about 10 minutes without crazy weather...that is the 10 minutes that my accident took place.  Can't image what the outcome would have been in that monsoon like weather.
  *ZERO traffic.  No one behind me to rear-end me when I slammed into the guardrail.  No one in the on-coming lane of traffic for me to plow into when I over corrected.  After I pulled over and assessed the damage the road had returned to it's normal traffic flow again...

I'm sure there are other God moments that I haven't realized that took place in that moment that protected my kids and I.  These are just the ones that stand out.

Lesson learned...
 Lesson #1...NO PHONE...NO MATER WHAT.  If I haven't put my blue tooth in my ear before I have started driving, than I just have to wait.  Seriously, it was a call from my doctors office telling me about a recent test. NO BIG DEAL!  And even if it was a hugely important message, the school calling to tell me my kid got kidnapped {just trying to think of the worst/most important call}...how is me causing an accident going to help that situation.  Because now my husband gets this call..."Um, your kid got kidnapped at school, and your wife drove off a cliff with your other child in the car!"  There is NO phone call that can't wait until I get to wherever it is I'm going...and I also have God on my side.  I fully know that if there is that really important phone call that I need to know about right then, I would have a nudge from the Holy Spirit telling me to pull over and check my phone.

Lesson #2...pride...UGH.  Lets go back about 18 months ago...I had this thing I liked to call, "A perfect driving record"...It's something I would remind Beau about lots and lots.  I LOVED my perfect driving record, I was proud of that thing!  Yeah...lets go back 18 months...

• I ran a red light...big time ran it, with video proof... almost got my whole family t-boned by another car {who stopped at their green light,while I blasted through my red light}
• Then 10 months go by..all is well...then I amazingly back right into my friends car...a car that I KNEW was right behind me...but I rammed right into it!  Lovely...also loved the insurance letter sent to my husband, "Dear Beau, after investigating the accident we find your wife 100% at fault."  THANKS...like I needed it rubbed into my prideful face.
• Tuesday...I being stupid...could have killed my children and myself!

Yep, my perfect driving record is gone.  And my pride about it is now filled with humility...I'm not saying I'm humble {because that's an oxymoron}...  I'm saying I get it now.  I had pride {probably still have it in other places that God has yet to point out}...and now I see that my pride got me nowhere, accomplished nothing.  It probably made me more dangerous to myself and my kids.  Pride blinds us, tells us that we're above certain things...when we clearly are imperfect humans that can make a stupid mistake {choose any from my above list, or make up your own} and that stupid mistake, that slip in judgement, could cost you or your family greatly.

November 7th

1}  I'm thankful for my Jesus being the same yesterday, today and forever. {Hebrews 13:8}

That verse was on the wall of our polling place, that happened to be a church, the boy child pointed it out when we got to the car...wish I would have seen it and taken a picture...
he said, "did you see what was painted on the wall in there?  It said Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever Hebrews something!"....
it's such a reassuring thing to know!  No matter who and what you voted for yesterday, {or even if you didn't vote}...no matter who won or didn't win, no matter what props passed or didn't pass.  Our Jesus Christ is never changing!  Amen...thanks boy child for being observant of the things around you!

2}  I'm thankful that we live in a country that says my children, and every child, have the right to learn!  My lower middle class children, boy & girl...both deserve an education!  I don't think I thought much about my right to learn as a child or even until I had my our children.  But it is such a blessing that not only do they offer an education to my children, it's the law that they MUST learn!  If I choose to not send them to a public or private school, I need to prove to the government that I would be teaching them in my home!  That's crazy awesome!

3}  I'm thankful for my job.  I have a job I never dreamed I'd have.  I never once thought, "hey when I grown I want to work with kids!"...yep, not even once.  God did place it on my heart in high school and college that I might be in the ministry somehow, someway.  And now, not only am I as 'pastor's wife,' I also am the Early Childhood Director {in charge of birth-kindergarten} at our church.  It's such a great working environment...my boss is pretty HOT...and my boss's boss is a great man to work for.  The office staff are all amazing women.  And I have a job that works around my life.  I work while my kids are in school...I'm home when they're home, I can take days off for field trips, I volunteer in my son's class once a week, I can take them to piano lessons & volleyball games.  Sick kids, no problem...I get to be mom and take care of my kids.  And on the work side...I seriously love working with babies-kindergartners...they are great!  I love watching the things their little brains process through.  I love hearing their hearts when we talk about God!  I thankful that I get to play a part in them learning the language of God!

flighty

you know those couples that have been married 30 years and say,

   "we learn something new about each other every day!"

well, I think that's just weird...do you guys not talk or something...

or am I the weird one?

because I feel like I know my husband even though we've only been together 16 years (married 14)...

there are those times, like twice a year that I learn something new,
     like get brand new information
         either about his likes or dislikes
         maybe his family
         his childhood
         his personality...

but I know him...
we talk...
we like each other
and interact with each other
and I KNOW him...

I don't want to learn new things about him everyday...
    I would feel like I didn't know him...
          that we don't communicate with each other...

photo by Betsey Walton Photography

I get what they're saying...

I think...

that being married, even for decades...

     you don't know EVERYTHING about the other person...

but really,
learning something new about a person everyday for 30 years?

I did the math...that's 10,950 new things 

     (and that's not adding extra days for those leap years!

...that's a lot of stuff to NOT know about your spouse...

I guess you have to factor in things like a person changing...

I have watched my husband change and his likes, dislikes, interests, & hobbies have evolved over the past 16 years, but is that learning something new or is that growing with someone?...

anyways...

it happened this past weekend...

I learned something BRAND-SPANKIN'-NEW about my husband...

     and also a little something about myself...

you know the ol' Flight or Fight thing...

in a crisis/emergency situation your brain does one of two things...

it either Flights (gets the heck out of dodge) 

or Fights...

I am a Flight...drop everything, nothing needs to be saved except my family...and run, drive, whatever mode of transportation available...flight, flight, flight!!!!

Beau is a Fight...drop everything, and fight!  fight for my family, fight for strangers, fight for right!

This can make for a very uncomfortable marriage 'conversations' during said crisis....

oh, and I also learned that I am non-rational, highly emotional, pretty much a nut-case, in crisis situations...like our neighborhood being on fire!...not the best thing for a mom to be...

I would like to say that in the moment I appreciated my husband's fight ...

   I did not...
it pretty much added to my nut-case state of mind.
I needed to flight.
I had my baby (my other baby was with a friend) and I NEEDED my baby's daddy to get in the flight mode and get the heck out of dodge...

I now know that my husband chose the right option,
stay and fight...
protect his family, 
help neighbors, 
help strangers,
take pictures...(yes, take pictures during crisis to remember later)

I also know without a shadow of a doubt that if he thought for one second that the crisis was too dangerous he would chose flight, because he is rational, calm, able to use his reasoning skills in crisis situations...unlike his flighty wife...

As I watched our neighbors all figure out their flight or fight I saw something interesting...
The a majority of those choosing flight were women...
wives & mothers...
and those choosing fight were men...
husbands, fathers, a teenage son that saved his house and potentially many others including ours!

I wonder if this has something to do with being the provider or the nester
(yes I know that's not a word!)...
Beau was protecting...
I was needing to get all my chicks into a safer nest than our current one!

So, I guess that I might not have learned something new about Beau everyday of our 14 year marriage, but I did learn something new this year!...
I learned that I am so glad he is a fighter and not flighty.
I am glad that during a crisis I can look at him and he will make all rational, sane decisions that need to be made for our family....
because I sure as heck can't!

do you know your reaction...are you flight or fight?

and/or have you learned something new about your spouse after years of marriage?

Public Service Announcement

your July PSA...brought to you by music...

yep, this "DUH-moment' PSA is brought to you by music....

blog side note...
I'm NOT a music person.  It's not that I don't like music...
or don't appreciate music...
or don't enjoy music...I do enjoy my share of music...
I even have a favorite band or 2...
it's just...I'm not a music person.

I know weird...

random fact...I owned zero (0) cd's (that's the way we listened to music in the 90's) when Beau and I started dating...still had zero when we got married...and today...I have zero cd's....

in 21st century vocab...it's like not having an itunes account...which...I do not have!
.....

okay...
end blog side note!

This PSA is about music!
I feel it's my duty to inform you all that working out with music is WAY better...
but guess what...you already knew that!

99% of the time I run without music...
1.  I just don't think about it
2.  running is my quiet time...just have silence...nothing...and I love it....
3.  I just don't think about it...because as noted earlier...I'm not a music person....


well...I'm also not a great runner...
I'm a fair-weather runner...
what does that mean...
well, I don't like to run in the cold and really not in the wet & cold (so Nov-March is out) 
and I don't like to run in the heat (so June-Sep is out)...
and I don't like to run on a treadmill...
so I get my running in from April-May...and October....


anyways...today I decided to run while the kids were at swim team
(I'm at the Y...I should be doing something RIGHT!)...
I have been trying to do something while I'm there...
but I do hate the treadmill...
and not so in love with the stationary bike...
and yes, I know...I'm a whiner!

anyways...I borrowed the girl child's pink headphones...
and asked Beau how am supposed to get music to come out of my smart phone...
and then...this crazy thing happened...
I ran better...the treadmill wasn't so stupid today...
I ran my first 11 min mile in over a year!... 
     (told you I was a not-so-great runner)
all because I was listening to some tunes while I was running...
crazy...

look how happy she is...it's because of the music!

music makes running easier....
and I'm the last one to figure this out...
because while I was running and thinking,
     "wow, this is like magic or something, I feel great!"
...I looked around the room...and everyone...
I MEAN EVERYONE had head phones on!...
even the 70+ lady reading her Kindle had headphones on!

I think I may have been the ONLY one in the world not running with music...
but just in case there is one other person out there...
and they happen to be reading my blog...
FYI music makes it better!!!!

on another note

...so you know how it goes...
you're in the car with a friend...
tunes turned up...
favorite song comes on...
....
and then you realize that you actually don't know the real words to the song because your friend just pointed out how those words you've been singing for years are wrong...
...
oh, so that's never happened to you...
well, it happened to the girl child this week...


the girl, the boy and I are sitting in the car...
the girl starts singing
the song...Bon Jovi's Shot Through the Heart...


her version...
"Shot through the heart, 
and you're too late...
You need love, a bad mate"
...
me-"Um, what did you just sing?"
girl-"The song"
me-"Yes, but what words did you just sing to that song?"
girl-"Shot through the heart, and you're too late... You need love, a bad mate"
me-giggles
boy-giggles
girl-"what?"
me-"those aren't the words."
girl-"really?"
me-"You need love, a bad mate, isn't even a sentence"
girl-"well, it's a song and songs sometimes don't make sense."
....
and she's right...


and FYI the words are
Shot through the heart,
And you're to blame
You give love a bad name


so, what song did you sing wrong until you figured it out?

if only

I had a friend share this picture with me this week after I posted something about certain store employees  on my facebook and their lack of math skills...

(the store shall remain nameless, lets just say...if your prices are falling, maybe you should teach your employees the math that goes along with those falling prices!)

just wanted to share the picture with you...
I think it'd be even better if they had a picture of 2 hands and a foot...

& then when a person does have more than 15 items the cashier also has some life size rubber hands and a foot that she/he breaks out and helps the person count using actual fingers & toes...

AND then makes them pack back up their stuff
& get into a regular...
non-express...lane...
if this happened once to them then they would never ever again go to the express lane with 42 items!

Where am I today?

I am over at my husband's blog again today starting a new series Family Dinner Friday

Sharing about the importance of family dinner, sharing an easy family dinner that is custom-izable and everyone in our family ends up eating more than their share of veggies...and some Q&A about dinner time for our family

I was also featured today over at my friend Ashley Brendle's blog.

Ashley's blog Tips4Mom; helping mothers thrive, a place with healthy mothering tips for today's Christian moms.  Ashley describes herself as a mother of 6 {boys} and a lover of Jesus.  She's also a wonderfully supportive wife to her husband.

So go check out both blogs and let me know if you have any favorite blogs I should know about!
Happy Friday!

my own form of torture

making the girl child clean out her clothes and it's torture...
these are the rules
*does it fit
*do you wear it
*do you like it
if the answer is 'no' to any of those it goes in the donate bag

and seriously...every.single.item...
she takes it out and asks me...
"should I get rid of this?"...

so again I say
"does it fit...do you wear it...do you like it"

and she will say,
"well, I sorta like it."
me-"but do you wear it?"
her-"well, not really"
me-"why not?"
her-"cuz it doesn't fit me any more"
me-"so did you answer 'no' to the does it fit question & the do you wear it question?"
her-"well, sort of, I guess"
me-"than it goes in the bag"

then the next item

she takes it out and asks me...

"should I get rid of this?"..

so again I say

"does it fit...do you wear it...do you like it"

and she will say,

"well, I don't really wear it."

me-"why not?"

her-"cuz I really don't like it"

me-"so did you answer 'no' to the does it does it fit & the do you like it question?"

her-"yes"

me-"so it goes in the bag"

her-"but it does fit me"

me-"doesn't matter, just one 'no' and it goes in the bag and this one has 2 no's"

and then the opposite...

the boy child wants in on this torture...

getting his own bag without asking and filling it

only my rules for him are different...

*does it fit

*does mommy want you to wear if for some event or picture taking opportunity that she will force you to wear something that you'd never wear unless there was some serious bribing going on

*does mommy have some vision of you wearing it all the time and looking like some adorable little boy that would never live in Pokemon and Bakugan t-shirts

so now while I am once again going thru the above conversation with girl child I am taking clothes out of the boy child's bag and saying, 

"well, I thought if we happened go to a nice garden wedding this summer you could maybe wear that"

have we been invited to a wedding?

NO

do we even know anyone getting married?

NO

would I even take a 5 year old boy to a wedding?

NO

"and this shirt would look really handsome if I got one in the same color for your dad to wear and I got a picture of the two of you playing catch together in our back yard"

can I ever get Beau to wear what I want him to?

NO

do they ever play catch in our back yard?

NO

do we even have a back yard?
NO.NO.NO

why did I decided to do this on spring break?!

Speaker of the House

are other women voted into this role without knowing?

I live in a house with 3 other unique individuals...

one of them is an adult male...

yet so many other people think that I have all of the answers for these 3 other people....

I sort-of understand people that ask me questions in regards to my children...

     I mean I AM their mother...

but sometimes I get weird questions...

3 from today alone,

"Does Madison have any loose teeth?"

     Madison was sitting right next to the person that asked me this questions

"Does Wilson need to go to the bathroom?" 

     again, Wilson was closer to this person than I was

"Does Madison like sausage?"...and again, 

     Madison was right next to the person that asked me the question...

ask them yourself!  I want to scream! (and sometimes say thru clenched teeth)

but 

what drives me MAD

what I can't stand

is when I'm asked questions that concern my husband!

I get people that call me...

     on MY cell phone 

to ask me questions about my husband...

questions that HE should and could and would answer himself!

'can Beau fix my computer?'

'does Beau have this tool?'

'when can Beau call me?'

can, will, how, what, when, ARGH....

I married a Man...

a Man!

and he looks like a Man

he has more gray hair than me (lots more, cuz I still haven't found a-one!)

in NO way does Beau look like he might be my child

please world

STOP asking me questions in regards to my husband who is more than man enough to answer them himself!

so sorry if you chose not to marry a man and have to now answer these questions the rest of your life...that was your choice...now respect my choice and my husband and treat him like the man he is!

I am now officially stepping down from the speaker of the house position!

FAILED

do you ever have that morning?

the morning were nothing goes right...
everything is wrong...
your coffee hasn't even brewed yet and you know it's going to be bad...
the morning were everyone else is wrong but you....

and then you realize that it's not them...but it's you....
or at least you are some-what to blame...

I had a big fat FAIL today...
or maybe this week...
this is the week that I'm so glad that I don't get report cards or yearly reviews from my supervisor...

I started the week (Monday) trying to be 'fun mom' and get everything done...
I got the kids to school on time and looking good...check
Got to the gym biked and ran...double check
showered and to church to get some work done...half check
...and then I started doing work for other people because I didn't want to let them down...
and I ended up leaving too late to go to lunch with My Beau....
...and pounding a granola bar for my lunch on the way to pick the kids up late from school...
...and running home and yelling at the kids to change into their suits because I booked a swimming play-date today...
...and now very frustrated because I have gotten the first good glimpse at my house in the daylight and it is TRASHED!...and now I am more frustrated at my kids (for being kids and having stuff and needing me to help them when I REALLY need to find a hazmat suit and go back into my house and spray it with some sort of magical chemical that will keep it clean with just the right amount of "lived in" look...not "could there be a dead animal in there" look)...
and then I take them to their swimming play-date
...only for the girl child to swim for all of 2 minutes and disappear inside the house to play and the boy child now left as the only child swimming and whining because he wants mom to swim,
....but I can't swim because my freshly red hair
          (yep I went RED, not red hair red, but Crayola Crayon Red)
     will stain my suit....
...and now the swim play date is over and both kids are complaining that they didn't get to swim...
     .....and some how this is my fault....
...and now we are back home, and kids have homework...
...but still wanting to be 'fun mom' I say 'yes' to eating dinner at a friends house
          both kids begged me to, when I said out loud,
         'well, we probably shouldn't'
and because I'm crazy and I also wanted to go...
so now homework gets half done, and we race out the door for dinner fun...
...and then race back home so the kids can be to bed on time...

now it's Tuesday morning the third week of school
 and I wake up to start my day like I did every morning during the summer...
...ME TIME...
I sit down at the computer and read some blogs, check out facebook...
look at the clock and realize that I need to wake the kids up,
...call out to them from my cozy seat in front of the computer, "Wake up kids!"
...read another blog or two, look at the clock again...wow the kids still aren't up...
"KIDS, GET OUT OF BED!"  shouted, lovingly said from my cozy seat at the computer...
another glance at facebook....seriously what is wrong with those kids?!?!
sheesh!
Do have have to be their mother and go get them out of bed...
....
oh...YES....
girl child upset that she didn't finish her homework...
boy child upset because mom forgot we had no milk...
mom child upset because she still hasn't brewed her coffee...
girl child decides to do homework rather than get ready for school...
boy child still pouting about milk...
girl child pulls out last weeks spelling test that she got a D on and is really upset....
boy child upset because mom didn't read to him the night before and the teacher says that his homework is mom reading to him...so now his homework isn't done either....
mom child frustrated with herself for not helping the girl child the day before with homework...
     frustrated that she struggled with spelling
          and now her poor daughter is cursed with her poor spelling skills...
    frustrated that she didn't read to her son the night before...
frustrated because she can't remember if she even hugged her kids the day before let alone read to them...
frustrated for forgetting the milk, and for not setting the coffee the night before...
...frustrated mom child gets more frustrated with children that move too slow in the morning...
yelling...yelling...and more yelling...
because that's helping the situation somehow?...
HOW do I not see that my growing level of frustration and yelling helps NO ONE and gets nothing accomplished EXCEPT making everyone feel little and helpless...
...
I want my restart button...
I want to crawl in bed and restart this week, because this week I get a FAIL

but Hey...I did go get milk....
so maybe I get a D today and not an F...