Saturday, May 25, 2013

Daddy Issues

This post has been in my heart for awhile now...and with Father's Day right around the corner I needed to get it out....

Don't we all have them...?
Daddy Issues
we have these images of superman type fathers...

Why is that?
I have a pretty decent, loving, good father...
but guess what, he's human!  My father was not, and is not, perfect!

I know women and men with daddy issues...
I know those that have never known their father
Those that wish they never knew their father
Those that had dads like mine
and those with amazing, Ward Cleaver fathers....

all of them...Have. Daddy. Issues...

why?  why is having daddy issues so universal?
maybe, just maybe, it's because we have this need ingrained into each and every one of us for a perfect heavenly Father.

Why do you think God tells us He is our father?  Maybe He knows...because He created us....that we all have this natural desire for a perfect father figure and yet no man on earth can ever 100% fulfill that roll!

Guess what else...?
we women,
we {and by 'we', I mean me} take these daddy issues and we bring them into our marriages...
however horrible or wonderful {or wherever they fall on the scale} our fathers were/are...we bring our daddy issues into our marriages and project them onto our husbands!  we either choose husbands that are the opposite of our fathers or husbands that are very similar to our fathers and then hold up these unrealistic expectations for them to be nothing like our fathers or everything like our fathers...

and when they fall short of either one of those marks we fight, kicking and screaming that they are failing us...
I am in no way saying any husband is perfect...
just like no father is perfect, they are all human}
but as wives have we taken our daddy issues and rather than turn towards our Heavenly Father to fulfill our needs we turn towards our husband and try to mold him into something he can't possibly be.  trying to get him to fill shoes that he can never fill....

remember that stupid line from Jerry McGuire,
"you complete me!"...
UGH, I've hated that from the moment I heard it... but that's what we're all trying to find, we're trying to find the man that will fill all the holes that our earthly fathers left gaping open...God is the ONLY one that can complete us, and it's a lifelong journey!

we all have daddy issues...
because we all need a perfect dad
we try to mold our husbands using all the daddy issues we came into the relationship with...
we don't want our kids to have daddy issues
and we want our husbands to fill our need that our daddy issues left in us...
our fathers & our husbands also have daddy issues
and our kids... yep, they will have daddy issues also
we were created with a need that no earthly father can ever live into!

but guess what?
we have a perfect father...He can help heal our daddy issues, help our children with their daddy issues and help our marriages not suffer because of them....

See how very much our Father loves us, for He calls us His children, and that is what we are!
 ~ 1 John 3:1 

Your Father knows what you need before you ask him.
 ~ Matthew 6:8

I will be a Father to you and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.
 ~ 2 Corinthians 6:18 

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to the two women in my life that have help me become the mother that I am today.

Thanks for everything you've ever done for me.  
I treasure our friendship and appreciate the fact that you saved it for my adult years and were my mom first.  So many mothers try to be their children's friend when their children are still children.  You were always my mom first and then when I grew up and moved out you slowly transitioned into a friend!  Thanks for that special gift.
I also want to thank you for the legacy of Jesus Christ that you gave to me.  What an amazing gift you gave me, introducing me you Jesus as a child, always having us in church, praying for us constantly, listening to our questions and helping me have my own relationship with God.  I am forever grateful for that gift and even more grateful now that I am a mother, knowing that your introducing me to God as a child opened up that door for future generations, namely, my own children, to have that relationship, what an amazing gift you have given my children!  
Thank You!

Kathy {my mother-in-love},
How grateful I am for you.  So many women I know have a bitter, spiteful relationship with the women that raised their son!  I have known from the first time Beau introduced us that you were special!  You truly are a gift for me and my entire family.  I treasure you, your love, your guidance, your prayers!  You are a mother-in-law that women everywhere desire!
I also want to thank you for the legacy of Jesus Christ that you gave your son!  I am beyond grateful to have met, fallen in love and married your son!  He leads and guides our family towards God every day and that is because of the gift you, as his mother, gave him by introducing him to Jesus.  Thank you for the legacy of a relationship with Jesus Christ that you have given my children.
Thank You!

I also want to thank both my mom and mother-in-law for the legacy of marriage they have given my children!  Because of your love for God and your relationship with Jesus Christ, your love for your husbands and children you have committed loving marriages!  I have no idea the issues either of you have faced in your marriages {having only been married for just under 15 years I know it's hard work}, I can't begin to grasp the struggles that you two have overcome in your marriages, in a day and age when all the marriages around you were crumbling, I thank you for fighting it out, holding strong, loving your children enough to hold onto your marriage vows, the promise you made to your husbands and God!  Thank you for that gift, that legacy, that you passed onto Beau & I and to your grandchildren!  In a day in age when 50% of marriages end in divorce our children can look around their family and see two sets of grandparents and one set of parents {and an Uncle & Aunt}, no steps, that's 4 marriages that have broken away from the statistics and  have set their marriages in God's hands and not in the world!

May your Mother's Day be blessed!

p.s. Thank you Kathy for the gift of a kid free weekend with my husband!