Letter to My Daughter

I heard on the radio this morning that the number one person that influences a girls personal image is her mother...eek!

There are also hundred's of studies that say how important a fathers role in a girls life is...
A healthy relationship with her brother is also very important...
Healthy relationships with her extended family are important...

I know this...I know that both my husband and I play a huge roll in our daughter's self image...
I also know I will fail her.
I know my husband will fail her.
Her brother will fail her..
Her grandparents, aunts, uncles & cousins will fail her...

Guess what, I don't need a study to tell me...
the number one most important relationship my daughter needs to become a healthy, responsible woman with a great self image...
Her relationship with her Creator God, Abba Father, Jesus Christ...

He.Will.Never. fail her!

and because of this I decided to write her a letter....

Dear Sweet Daughter of Mine,

I love you more than you can fathom {that is, until you have your own children, but until then}.  I want you to have a life filled to the brim with love & joy.

What I want you to know...need you to know.
You are designed to be loved.  
We all know that deep in our core, that we are created for love.  
But please never confuse what that love is.  You were created by the God of the universe to be loved by the God of the universe.  In the deepest part of your soul you will yearn for that love and search for that love.  
Make no mistake that you deserve that love, there is nothing wrong with this desire to be love.
But know this,
that NO man, no woman, no child on this earth that can love you enough to fulfill that need.  
God created that desire so that you would seek Him.

I love you more than you can fathom, but my love for you is nothing compared to God.
Your father loves you more than you can fathom, but his love is nothing compared to God's love for you.

Also, I am so very blessed to have met, fallen in love with, married and fallen more in love with your father.  
But guess what...
He is not my soul mate...  
He does not 'complete me'...
If for some reason your father was not in my life I would be sad, terribly sad, but I would go on and live the life that God created me to live, because my life is not set on a earthly man that I have chosen to live my life with.  No man on earth can make me whole!
My life is set on the Heavenly Father I have chosen to seek after.

You are beautiful.  Yes, I am your mother and because of that I will always believe you are beautiful.  But I also know that you are beautiful because of who created you.  
No article of clothing, hair style, make up brush can make you more beautiful than God Himself.  I will tell you that you are beautiful, your father will tell you that you are beautiful, your grandparents, friends, aunts & uncle, will tell you that you are beautiful {your brother may not, but that's just because he's your little brother!}, and someday, when you are grown {35'ish}, men will tell you that you are beautiful...those words, my words, "daughter, you are beautiful" aren't what make you beautiful!  You need to tuck this away in your heart, hear it over and over, what makes you beautiful is that the God of the Universe, the God that formed the stars in the sky, the mountains & oceans, paints the sunsets each night, that God...He.Created.You.  He formed you!  He drew the curve of your cheek, placed the twinkle in your eyes, counted every hair on your head, knew the size of your feet and the strength of your legs....  He is why you are beautiful!  You are not beautiful because your father and I tell you, you are beautiful because He says so!

That life filled to the brim with love & joy that I mentioned at the beginning of this letter...that isn't something that just happens.  And notice I didn't say a life without pain.  Not that I want you to have a life of pain, but I also know that pain helps us grow, that pain turns us to our Creator.  The greatest pain so far in my life was the first 17 days of your life...not knowing if you, my precious daughter, would live.  But that pain turned me into the arms of my God.  I sought out His Love and Peace and through that pain my life was filled with love & joy.  
God's plan for your life is to 
"prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 
{Jeremiah 29:11}......but don't stop reading the passage there...keep reading...
"Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord."
We need to seek God with all our heart...God's plan 'not to harm us' plays into the fact that we are seeking Him!  Not seeking a life free of pain, not seeking to be beautiful, not seeking to find a man to share it with...
When you seek God and allow HIS plan to dictate your life, that is when the remainder of His plan for prosperity & hope will become fulfilled ...
oh, and prosperity isn't 'the American dream'...God's idea of prosperity looks a little different.  Prosperity is a heart issue not a bank account number!

There is so much more that I want you to know.  So I will end this letter with...
"till next time!"
Your loving, faithful, full of mistakes mom!

This Happened

 15 years ago today!

 we became husband and wife....

there was some kissing....

some laughing...

 and dancing...

and yes...we were children!

I'm not going to blog about
*15 things I've learned in 15 years or
*15 reasons why I love him more now or
*15 things I wish I knew before I got married...

I just wanted to simply say that getting married at 20, although young, was the best thing I have ever done.  I am thankful to God for putting Beau into my life, thankful we married when we did, thankful we chose to have our children when we did...
Beau is a great husband...he's not perfect...
I think I might be an okay wife...I'm not perfect...
we try to always communicate our feelings...
we don't always do that as calm, rational adults...
but we do communicate...
I know he's not a mind reader...
even when I drop amazingly obvious hints...
I can't get mad at him when I haven't communicated what I need or want from him.

Our goal for our marriage is to be in relationship with God and each other and to grow in that relationship.  We are not trying to change the other person {or train, like some would say} into the man or woman we want them to be.  We are hopefully helping each other grow and change and become the man & woman God would have us be.

and that, for us, is what marriage is all about.

Our marriage has been blessed and for that I am thankful!

I love you Beau!

Daddy Issues

This post has been in my heart for awhile now...and with Father's Day right around the corner I needed to get it out....

Don't we all have them...?
Daddy Issues

we have these images of superman type fathers...

Why is that?
I have a pretty decent, loving, good father...
but guess what, he's human!  My father was not, and is not, perfect!

I know women and men with daddy issues...
I know those that have never known their father
Those that wish they never knew their father
Those that had dads like mine
and those with amazing, Ward Cleaver fathers....

all of them...Have. Daddy. Issues...

why?  why is having daddy issues so universal?
maybe, just maybe, it's because we have this need ingrained into each and every one of us for a perfect heavenly Father.

Why do you think God tells us He is our father?  Maybe He knows...because He created us....that we all have this natural desire for a perfect father figure and yet no man on earth can ever 100% fulfill that roll!

Guess what else...?
we women,
we {and by 'we', I mean me} take these daddy issues and we bring them into our marriages...
however horrible or wonderful {or wherever they fall on the scale} our fathers were/are...we bring our daddy issues into our marriages and project them onto our husbands!  we either choose husbands that are the opposite of our fathers or husbands that are very similar to our fathers and then hold up these unrealistic expectations for them to be nothing like our fathers or everything like our fathers...

and when they fall short of either one of those marks we fight, kicking and screaming that they are failing us...
{pause...
I am in no way saying any husband is perfect...
just like no father is perfect, they are all human}
but as wives have we taken our daddy issues and rather than turn towards our Heavenly Father to fulfill our needs we turn towards our husband and try to mold him into something he can't possibly be.  trying to get him to fill shoes that he can never fill....

remember that stupid line from Jerry McGuire,
"you complete me!"...
UGH, I've hated that from the moment I heard it... but that's what we're all trying to find, we're trying to find the man that will fill all the holes that our earthly fathers left gaping open...God is the ONLY one that can complete us, and it's a lifelong journey!

we all have daddy issues...
because we all need a perfect dad
we try to mold our husbands using all the daddy issues we came into the relationship with...
we don't want our kids to have daddy issues
and we want our husbands to fill our need that our daddy issues left in us...
our fathers & our husbands also have daddy issues
and our kids... yep, they will have daddy issues also
we were created with a need that no earthly father can ever live into!

but guess what?
we have a perfect father...He can help heal our daddy issues, help our children with their daddy issues and help our marriages not suffer because of them....

See how very much our Father loves us, for He calls us His children, and that is what we are!

 ~ 1 John 3:1 

Your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

 ~ Matthew 6:8

I will be a Father to you and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.

 ~ 2 Corinthians 6:18 

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to the two women in my life that have help me become the mother that I am today.

Mom, 

Thanks for everything you've ever done for me.  

I treasure our friendship and appreciate the fact that you saved it for my adult years and were my mom first.  So many mothers try to be their children's friend when their children are still children.  You were always my mom first and then when I grew up and moved out you slowly transitioned into a friend!  Thanks for that special gift.

I also want to thank you for the legacy of Jesus Christ that you gave to me.  What an amazing gift you gave me, introducing me you Jesus as a child, always having us in church, praying for us constantly, listening to our questions and helping me have my own relationship with God.  I am forever grateful for that gift and even more grateful now that I am a mother, knowing that your introducing me to God as a child opened up that door for future generations, namely, my own children, to have that relationship, what an amazing gift you have given my children!  

Thank You!

Kathy {my mother-in-love},

How grateful I am for you.  So many women I know have a bitter, spiteful relationship with the women that raised their son!  I have known from the first time Beau introduced us that you were special!  You truly are a gift for me and my entire family.  I treasure you, your love, your guidance, your prayers!  You are a mother-in-law that women everywhere desire!

I also want to thank you for the legacy of Jesus Christ that you gave your son!  I am beyond grateful to have met, fallen in love and married your son!  He leads and guides our family towards God every day and that is because of the gift you, as his mother, gave him by introducing him to Jesus.  Thank you for the legacy of a relationship with Jesus Christ that you have given my children.

Thank You!

I also want to thank both my mom and mother-in-law for the legacy of marriage they have given my children!  Because of your love for God and your relationship with Jesus Christ, your love for your husbands and children you have committed loving marriages!  I have no idea the issues either of you have faced in your marriages {having only been married for just under 15 years I know it's hard work}, I can't begin to grasp the struggles that you two have overcome in your marriages, in a day and age when all the marriages around you were crumbling, I thank you for fighting it out, holding strong, loving your children enough to hold onto your marriage vows, the promise you made to your husbands and God!  Thank you for that gift, that legacy, that you passed onto Beau & I and to your grandchildren!  In a day in age when 50% of marriages end in divorce our children can look around their family and see two sets of grandparents and one set of parents {and an Uncle & Aunt}, no steps, that's 4 marriages that have broken away from the statistics and  have set their marriages in God's hands and not in the world!

Thanks, 

May your Mother's Day be blessed!

p.s. Thank you Kathy for the gift of a kid free weekend with my husband!  

Who Am I?

Why, Hello There!


You may {or may not} have notice my blog has been silent...
for over 4 months now I've blogged nothing!
zero.
zilch..
nada...

why?  why did I go silent?

it's been a lot of little reasons and a few not so little reason that have kept me quiet...

the first, maybe the biggest...
was the day after my last post
{I posted last on Thursday, Dec 13}
was Friday, December 14
Sandy Hook Elementary

that rocked me...
those little boys and girls
going to school
in a quiet small town
public school...
just like my kids...

I started to write a post the day after, Sat Dec 15, it has sat in my drafts folder all these months...
I had this overwhelming feeling of "Who Am I" to write about this loss, why do I get to chime in and have any sort of feeling for these families that are grieving!

Grief is personal...
it was their kids,
their school,
their town,
their state...

I also did NOT want to start {and still won't} a discussion on gun control....

....the more I thought about what happened at Sandy Hook...
the more I wanted to be present for my kids.
I also didn't want to write a trivial post about my collection of Nativities when something so devastating had happened... {not that Christmas and celebration the birth of Christ is trivial...but you know}

I was stuck between
     "who am I to write a blog about Sandy Hook"
          &
"I can't just ignore Sandy Hook and post a weekly menu"

so I decided to take a break, cherish my kids, and wait until it was time to come back...
and then Monday happened...
the Bombing of the Boston Marathon....
and it was just as horrific...
     {why does it have to be children, seriously!}

I'm in an 8 Week Get Healthy Challenge with some friends...and one of them shared this Bible verse on Monday....
 I have told you these things, 
     so that in me you may have peace. 
          In this world you will have trouble. 
               But take heart! 
                    I have overcome the world.
                            ~John 16:33

Guess What?  We live in a sinful fallen world...'in this world you will have trouble'
but that's not the end of the story....
HE has overcome the world...
AMEN....

lots of other things have happened over the past 4 months...
my life is busier...
but I DO want to still blog...
I will post about the changes in my life...
I will post about my journey of getting healthy...
I will post weekly menu's {when I remember}
I will post God Moments...
I will post the silly things my kids do...
I will post craft projects when I actually finish them...
but I will also blog around my family's schedule,

one thing I have learned from Sandy Hook, the Boston Bombing, and just all the tragedies of life is that cherishing moments with my kids and family is way more important than anything I can blog about!

see ya soon...

November 30

1}  I'm thankful for my Bible.  How amazing is it that I can hold God's words in my hands and any time I want I can open it up and hear His voice.  It blows me away that there are still people groups in this world that have no written word....seriously, their language is not yet been written down...and because of that they also have no Bible...God's word is not something they have ever read.
Without counting and searching I know that right now there are at least 10 Bibles in my home...but probably closer to 15.  Everyday...every minute...I can pick up God's letter to me and read it.  I'm thankful for that.

2}  Thankful for a good nights sleep despite the storm and no husband being home.  I struggle with fear.  And those are my two worst...windy, stormy nights always equal no sleep...husband out of town...no sleep.  Last night I slept like a baby and feel amazing today.  It was totally a gift from God.  I prayed all day yesterday when I would think of the night ahead of me.  I kept seeking God's peace and comfort.  And guess what, He gave them to me.  I woke up this morning so very thankful, and surprised, that I had slept all thru the night with no fear!

3}  Thankful for Christmas & Christmas decorations.  Love that we celebrate it for a whole month...Going to pull out the decorations today and get some twinkling lights strung...and set up all my nativities...

Bonus...
4}  Thankful for 2 friends that tried to help me fix my fence last night in the storm...one being 9 months pregnant {only a week from her due date}...it was very comical with the 3 of us trying to figure out something to hold the gate from blowing open and making noise all night long...and we were unsuccessful in our attempts, and I'm pretty sure I going to have some clean up this morning...

also thankful that I took this month to reflect on being thankful...something we do no do enough of as a culture...

November 23

1}  I'm thankful for humor.  I am glad that I can laugh at myself, I can laugh with my husband and kids.  My kids are hilarious and crack me up all the time.  And I think laughter is one of the most important parts of a healthy marriage, or at least our marriage.

2}  I'm thankful for desserts...such a simple thing that brings such joy.

the pie tree! such a beautiful sight

3}  I'm thankful for where we live.  I love living in FAR Northern California.  It is truly one of the most beautiful places to live.  Yesterday my in-laws, daughter and I were able to participate in the annual Turkey Trot on the gorgeous Sacramento River Trail.  We have a wonderful trail system in Redding, with 100's of miles of paved trails just a few miles in all directions.  We live minutes from 2 beautiful lakes, about an hour from 2 beautiful mountains, just a few hours from the ocean. Today we will go out and explore more of our 'home' with the family.
I love this place, it is a gift from God.

November 21

1}  I'm so very thankful for God's protection over my family.

2}  I'm thankful for the guardrail on a road that I drive on everyday with my kids.  A guardrail that God used to save my kids and I from going down a 50 foot ravine.

3}  Thankful for those lessons that God teaches us.

Tuesday morning I was running errands with the kids, driving along.  My phone rings, I glance down, "Private Number," I ignore it...and then I have this stupid, "what if it's really important," thought so I grab for my blue tooth...can't find it, I look down to find it and in that moment...that 2 seconds with my eyes off the road...I drifted into a guardrail...drifted going 50 miles an hour...into a guardrail that was protecting a 50 foot ravine.  I swerved, over-corrected and went into the oncoming lane...NO ONE was there...I pulled it together and pulled over.  I got out and looked at the car.  Pretty banged up...but drive-able...I looked around...NO CARS...NO Traffic on this busy 2 days before Thanksgiving errand running day...

God protected us in so many ways.
  *a guardrail that I've never noticed, never thought about, being in the spot we needed it.
  *when I hit the guardrail, I hit it pretty much on the whole entire side of the van...equaling lots of damaged down the entire side of the van...but also just basic physics, had I hit with the front end we could have been tossed over the rail, had I hit the back it could have sent us into a spin, but hitting the whole side kept us pretty balanced.  I don't think I could have tried to hit it at a more 'perfect' angle if I wanted to...
  *Tuesday was a raining, blustery, monsoon like day.  There was about 10 minutes without crazy weather...that is the 10 minutes that my accident took place.  Can't image what the outcome would have been in that monsoon like weather.
  *ZERO traffic.  No one behind me to rear-end me when I slammed into the guardrail.  No one in the on-coming lane of traffic for me to plow into when I over corrected.  After I pulled over and assessed the damage the road had returned to it's normal traffic flow again...

I'm sure there are other God moments that I haven't realized that took place in that moment that protected my kids and I.  These are just the ones that stand out.

Lesson learned...
 Lesson #1...NO PHONE...NO MATER WHAT.  If I haven't put my blue tooth in my ear before I have started driving, than I just have to wait.  Seriously, it was a call from my doctors office telling me about a recent test. NO BIG DEAL!  And even if it was a hugely important message, the school calling to tell me my kid got kidnapped {just trying to think of the worst/most important call}...how is me causing an accident going to help that situation.  Because now my husband gets this call..."Um, your kid got kidnapped at school, and your wife drove off a cliff with your other child in the car!"  There is NO phone call that can't wait until I get to wherever it is I'm going...and I also have God on my side.  I fully know that if there is that really important phone call that I need to know about right then, I would have a nudge from the Holy Spirit telling me to pull over and check my phone.

Lesson #2...pride...UGH.  Lets go back about 18 months ago...I had this thing I liked to call, "A perfect driving record"...It's something I would remind Beau about lots and lots.  I LOVED my perfect driving record, I was proud of that thing!  Yeah...lets go back 18 months...

• I ran a red light...big time ran it, with video proof... almost got my whole family t-boned by another car {who stopped at their green light,while I blasted through my red light}
• Then 10 months go by..all is well...then I amazingly back right into my friends car...a car that I KNEW was right behind me...but I rammed right into it!  Lovely...also loved the insurance letter sent to my husband, "Dear Beau, after investigating the accident we find your wife 100% at fault."  THANKS...like I needed it rubbed into my prideful face.
• Tuesday...I being stupid...could have killed my children and myself!

Yep, my perfect driving record is gone.  And my pride about it is now filled with humility...I'm not saying I'm humble {because that's an oxymoron}...  I'm saying I get it now.  I had pride {probably still have it in other places that God has yet to point out}...and now I see that my pride got me nowhere, accomplished nothing.  It probably made me more dangerous to myself and my kids.  Pride blinds us, tells us that we're above certain things...when we clearly are imperfect humans that can make a stupid mistake {choose any from my above list, or make up your own} and that stupid mistake, that slip in judgement, could cost you or your family greatly.

November 13

1}  Thankful for nurses, occupational therapists, social workers, and all the specialized people that work in hospitals!  And those that work with kids are even more amazing.

2}  Thankful for children's hospitals.

3}  Thankful for kids spending the weekend at Grandma and Grandpa's.

Please continue to pray for our friends daughter.  She was in so much pain today, one of the hardest things I've had to see.  {Kids should not have to ever be in that level of pain...seriously she will laugh her way through labor after the pain she is experiencing today and for the next few days!}.   Her surgery was to straighten out her scoliosis, her pre-op prep took almost 2 hours, and then her actual surgery was about 7 hours, and then another 1 1/2 hours before her parents could go see her, I think they saw her around 9:30 last night.

Brad & Kim putting on their brave faces...
this was yesterday morning before Kenna had gone "into" surgery put was in pre-op

Pray for our friends.  Watching your child in pain SUCKS!  And getting to sleep on fold out chairs...they WILL have short fuses...pray that they can be a comfort to each other and be each others soft place to land.

in a waiting room about hour 5 (of surgery, not counting pre-op!)

Pray for all the other families at that hospital.  We were at a huge children's hospital and walking the halls, seeing all the sick kids, all the parents in pain watching their babies hurting.  Not having answers to help their kids....I'm so thankful for hospitals geared just for these kids, people who devote their lives to helping these children.  I felt like I was praying the entire time I was there {not a bad thing}, every child I saw that was sick, every family waiting for news or talking with a doctor, nurse, social worker, etc...I just saw pain everywhere and I couldn't stop pleading with God to help these kids and families.

Hold your babies tight tonight when you tuck them in.

Thank you God for my healthy kids!  Be with every parent tonight who has a hurting child!

November 12

Beau and I are on a little trip...not a romantic get away, not a for fun get away, not a business get away...
a family friends needs us to walk beside them while their almost 10 year old daughter is having major surgery....
pray for our friends today...
pray for their brave daughter as she goes in this morning for a life changing surgery.
pray for her parents, that wish with all their hearts that it was them and not their baby.
pray for the doctors.
pray for us as we comfort and pray with them today.

1}  Thankful for healthy kids.
2}  Thankful for doctors.
3}  Thankful that my God is the great physician!

November 8

1}  I'm thankful for our parents and their marriages.

my parents @ our wedding

my in-laws @ our wedding

I think it may be a rarity that both sets of our parents are still married.  Both got married young and in an age when divorce was pretty normal our parents stayed the course and are still married.  I'm sure their marriages haven't been smooth sailing, but they love each other, have grown together, and love God.  Both my parents and my in-laws marriage have taught Beau and I things about marriage, commitment, and love.  Their legacy of marriage is something I am deeply thankful for.  My children see marriage as the norm, they see commitment as the option, not quitting.  I know many marriages end today because one or both parties just don't 'feel' it...they made a promise, they need to sit down and communicate and work it out, especially if they have children.  If you fall out of love...DEAL...and then try your hardest to fall back in love!  I'm sorry, that's my opinion.  I'm sure there were times in both our parents marriages that it got tough, that they may have considered not sticking it out...but I'm thankful they did our marriage is stronger because of their commitment and our children have a better chance at having strong marriages because of our parents choices!  

disclaimer:  I think divorce is the answer to SOME marriages {the 3 A's Abuse, Adultery, Addiction}

2}  I'm thankful for my family...mom, dad and sister.

family Christmas pic, cira 1984,
I'm in front holding the cat.

My parents were amazing parents to my passionate personality.  They didn't control me, they taught me to control myself.  They reinforced over and over that I was responsible for the choices that I made, that I had free will, and I would have consequences if I broke the rules!  And BOY did I have consequences...but I'm thankful for those lessons learned at a young age because life consequences for bad choices {sin} at the age of 10 is way  better than life consequences for sin at the age of 16...18...21...  Their parenting taught me responsibility for myself and helped guide my life to where it is today.

3}  I'm thankful for my in-laws.  I am 100% totally blessed with great in-laws.  Those 'mother-in-law' jokes don't make sense in my world.  I have a mother-in-law that I love, who raised a great son, who loves my children and who only gives her advice with love and tenderness.  The rest of them are great too.  I also really appreciate my sister-in-law, she's an amazing aunt to our kids.  Both my mother-&-sister-in-law have taught me how to be a better wife and mother and I am so very grateful for them.  I personally think the Chambers Men marry amazing women!

a shot with the in-laws 2010...
we all look younger now, except the kids are all older

And this is posting a day late...I wrote it yesterday, but forgot to post...

November 7th

1}  I'm thankful for my Jesus being the same yesterday, today and forever. {Hebrews 13:8}

That verse was on the wall of our polling place, that happened to be a church, the boy child pointed it out when we got to the car...wish I would have seen it and taken a picture...
he said, "did you see what was painted on the wall in there?  It said Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever Hebrews something!"....
it's such a reassuring thing to know!  No matter who and what you voted for yesterday, {or even if you didn't vote}...no matter who won or didn't win, no matter what props passed or didn't pass.  Our Jesus Christ is never changing!  Amen...thanks boy child for being observant of the things around you!

2}  I'm thankful that we live in a country that says my children, and every child, have the right to learn!  My lower middle class children, boy & girl...both deserve an education!  I don't think I thought much about my right to learn as a child or even until I had my our children.  But it is such a blessing that not only do they offer an education to my children, it's the law that they MUST learn!  If I choose to not send them to a public or private school, I need to prove to the government that I would be teaching them in my home!  That's crazy awesome!

3}  I'm thankful for my job.  I have a job I never dreamed I'd have.  I never once thought, "hey when I grown I want to work with kids!"...yep, not even once.  God did place it on my heart in high school and college that I might be in the ministry somehow, someway.  And now, not only am I as 'pastor's wife,' I also am the Early Childhood Director {in charge of birth-kindergarten} at our church.  It's such a great working environment...my boss is pretty HOT...and my boss's boss is a great man to work for.  The office staff are all amazing women.  And I have a job that works around my life.  I work while my kids are in school...I'm home when they're home, I can take days off for field trips, I volunteer in my son's class once a week, I can take them to piano lessons & volleyball games.  Sick kids, no problem...I get to be mom and take care of my kids.  And on the work side...I seriously love working with babies-kindergartners...they are great!  I love watching the things their little brains process through.  I love hearing their hearts when we talk about God!  I thankful that I get to play a part in them learning the language of God!

November 5th

I'm thankful for my husband

1}  I'm thankful that we met young and married young.  That might sound crazy.  But we have lived our lives together, 'grown up' together.  We came into our relationship with very little baggage from previous relationships because we we're young when we started dating (I was 18 he was 20).

2}  Thankful that he is a Godly man who desires to lead his family in God's will.

3}  Thankful that we fight.  We are both passionate people and we started out our relationship stuffing our feelings and not being open.  We have grown up and know how to fight...well, at least know we need to not stuff our feelings.  We don't always fight the right way, I may call him names...I might get too emotional...but we work it out and the end of the fight there is always resolution.  I know some marriages that are a lot older than ours that never fight.  Without fighting you don't have change.  The fights help one or both of us see our own faults, {which is my favorite part-sarcasm in case you didn't know}, and in seeing our faults we can work on change and then together we grow in our relationship and hopefully in a deeper relationship with God.

4}  I'm thankful for our make-ups after we fight...and that's all I'm saying on that!-you're welcome Ken!

5}  I'm thankful for the father that he is.  I knew at the early age of 18 that he'd probably be a good dad {Yes,I was thinking about it, but it wasn't the most important thing for me at 18 or even 20 when we got married}...but I had no idea what an amazing dad he really would be.

6}  I'm thankful for his home-bodyness...{yep, made that word up!}...he is a home body...I am not.  His desire and need to be home forces me to have down-time that I would fill with stuff.  I would be going and doing and wearing myself out if not for his need to be home.

7}  I'm also thankful for him saying yes to my going & doing.  He says yes to many of my, 'lets go do something' moments, when all he wants is to stay home...and he usually enjoys himself.

8}  I'm thankful for his love and attraction to me.  He loves me without makeup, prefers me without makeup.  He loves my after-baby-c-section-nursed-two-children body.  Where he has aged well, {he's thinner and fitter today than he was when we got married}, I have just aged....  And he loves all of me. I'm thankful!  Although, he has WAY more white hair than I do!

9}  I'm thankful for his gift of music.  He had introduced me to a world of music that I never knew.  And he has given that gift to our children.  I love that he will just randomly sit down at the piano and get lost in playing for 45+ minutes...I love it!  And that he has a record {yes record...LP} to play for any and all occasions.

10}  I'm thankful for his humor.  He makes me laugh every day.  He is the funniest man I know...although he has yet to discover how hilarious I am or maybe he's just not willing to admit it yet!

And many, many, more things...again I have surpassed my 3 things...

November 4th

I'm thankful for our boychild

1}  I'm thankful that he is so full of life and humor.  He has the Chambers humor like his father, uncle & grandfather...funny men!

2}  I'm thankful that he has music in his body.  The boy hears music and he must dance.

3}  I'm thankful that he is a cuddler...yep just made that word up!...and just an overall physical touch guy.  I love that he hugs his friends, at 7 years old has no problem giving his friends a full on bear hug, because that's how he show his love and he loves his friends.

4}  I'm thankful that he is passionate.  Even if parenting a passionate child is harder, I'm so thankful that he know what he wants in life and will go after it.

5}  I'm thankful that he is an early-bird like me.  I enjoy our mornings together, just the two of us.  I have learned so much about him in our early mornings together.

6}  I'm thankful that he's a thinker and a processor.  His brain is always going and he asks questions I have never thought of before.  Accepting that things just happen because they happen is not an answer for this child.  He needs to have answers and that has caused me to grow as a parent and a person, I have learned because he has asked!

7}  So thankful that he has God in his heart and knows how to pray for God's guidance in his life.  I'm thankful that he has a Godly father that he loves and that he wants to be like.  He thinks his dad is just a 'regular guy' and he wants to be a 'regular guy like his dad' when he grows up.  He has no idea that having a father who seeks God is not the norm.

And of course I could go on and on...but I'm past my 3 thankful for the day...so I'll stop.

November 3

I'm thankful for my girl child

I never imagined myself as a mom growing up...and I never imagined myself to a girly-girl child.
God gave me the best gift I never knew I wanted & needed when he gave us Madison.  I'm thankful for her in so many different ways.

1}  I'm thankful that she has taught me to love the girly-girl in myself.

2}  I'm thankful that she has taught me that your heart is way more important than your intelligence. 
     She is a very smart girl, but school hasn't always been easy for her, she's not an academic person.  But her heart knows so much more than most people.  I would way rather have a child that struggles with reading, writing, and arithmetic than a child that struggles with love.
     I have a sermon that I heard 7+ years ago that bounces around in my head & heart all the time...
a short summed up version...  
When Christians are faced with a situation/person that they don't have an answer for their default mode should ALWAYS be love...but instead most Christians default mode is judgement.
My girl child, her default mode, is LOVE!  She was born with the switch in the right place and I pray that the world doesn't change it for her!

3}  I'm thankful that she embraces who she is.  That she laughs with her whole being.  And that she can laugh at herself.

4}  I'm thankful that she's willing to step out of the box and try new things.  The girl that didn't eat for 8 years...now will taste anything...she'll try any new food you offer her.  It's fun to take her to different ethnic restaurants, she loves new foods!

5}  I'm thankful for her love of family and friends.  It doesn't matter if she sees them every day or once a year.  The moment a friend or family drives out of the driveway she turns to us and says, usually with tears in her eyes,
"I miss _fill-in-the-blank_ already!"

6}  I'm thankful for her love of babies!  She has never seen an ugly baby (Yeah...I said that, we all know there are some not-so-cute babies out there!).  She loves them ALL and gets giddy just thinking about the opportunity to hold a baby!

7}   I'm thankful that she's 100% a daddy's girl!  I'm thankful that she has a father that shows her God's Love and is teaching her what true love looks like.  This girl will never settle for less than she deserves in a man because from day one, she's known the love of a true man and has a healthy loving relationship with her father.  And bonus...she talks to him about all her 'girl issues'... {not his favorite, but he listens and usually says, "um, I think your mom might know all that."}....

I'm going to stop, because I already went over my list of 3, but I could go on-and-on...
I am so very thankful for my daughter!

Happy Free-Candy-From-Strangers Day

why, hello there!

l-r Wilson's "jack", my curly "C", Madison's Cat on a fence
and then my worty pumpkin with poka-dot holes (hard to see)...
also a plastic golden pumpkin in the background looks like it might have eyes, it does not!

yep, I've been blog absent for a whole month...life just got busy, and as I wrote at the beginning of the year, this blog is for fun and it will not take away from my family...so I have been present with my kids and husband and working, and yes, the blog has taken back seat...

Wilson as his Father & Madison as a 6th grade student in 1988!

but I wanted to do a re-post for ya'll on this day...my post about 'Celebrating Halloween' as a Christian...

enjoy!
http://chambersmade.blogspot.com/2010/10/celebrating.html

you were born for this

our daughter had a rough entry into the world...
and a few more bumps around year 3...

when we tell her about her birth miracle and healing at 3 we remind her that God has a plan for her life.
(yes, I know...he has a plan for everyone's life)...
but we tell her that 'someone' tried to stop her from being the person she was meant to be.

that she is meant for greatness...
and not greatness in the view of the world, but greatness in how God views her...

this past week we had the privilege as her parents to witness her allowing God to live thru her and not to let 'someone' else control her life.

This is a Bible verse that we've talked about as a family,
" Therefore, to one who knows the right {or good} thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin."
                                                                   ~ James 4:17

and that is what Madison did, she knew the good, and she did it!
She started middle school last week...
She was worried about changing classes...
getting lost on the campus...
not finding her friends at lunch...
not having ANY friends in any of her classes...
of all that scary homework....

one thing that she went into the year knowing was that even if she had no classes with her friends...she at least HAD friends.  She has 2 really good friends going to the same school, and lots and lots of kids from the past 6 years of school all on the same campus...
she was good...

We did encourage her to meet and make other friends....
not because we don't like her friends, we do...
but she has 6 classes and her 2 friends are in NONE of those classes...so life will just feel better if she has a friend or two in some of those classes...it will be less lonely...
she wasn't out there to find replacement friends...
     just add to her friends...you know...
...make new friends, but keep the old...
....one is silver, the other gold....
she just maybe needed to add to the silver list...

day one...
she notices a girl in her 'core' class with the same backpack as her...
(core is the new term for homeroom...and just to make things confusing for us old school parents...core isn't always your first class of the day, you might end your day with core!)
day two...
she starts talking to matching backpack girl*...
(*special blog note...her name is not actually matching backpack girl, that would be weird, but to keep things safe I will not be using actual names besides Madison's)
she's  nice...
day three...
more talking...she's really nice...maybe we can be friends in 'core' together...
day four...
finds out that matching backpack girl moved from a k-8th school so none of her friends moved over to 6th grade but stayed at the k-8th school...
matching backpack girl is shy and worried about making new friends...
day five...
Madison invites matching backpack girl to eat lunch with her and her friends...

day five lunch time...
Madison and matching backpack girl see Madison's friends at 'their table'...
they walk to the table and Madison begins the introductions...
"old friends, meet matching backpack girl...matching backpack girl meet old friends."

only...one old friend doesn't wait for introductions to finish, but packs up her lunch and leaves in a huff...
other old friend stays at table but turns and talks to other kids at the table and ignores Madison and matching backpack girl...well ignores her while also making weird snotty faces in their general direction, (lots of exaggerated eye rolls and hair tosses)...

Madison tries to talk to old friends...
M..."what's going on?"
OF's...."we don't like matching backpack girl!"
M..."why not?"
"she didn't share her new ball," says one old friend (really are we in kindergarten?)
Madison asks matching backpack girl about the ball thing
matching backpack girl, "it was a new ball and I wasn't letting anyone play with it."

Madison thinks...
I've known matching backpack girl for 5 days, but she's nice and she's shy, I don't think she's lying about the ball thing...she even agreed with old friend that she didn't share her ball, but she had a good reason...

Madison goes back to old friends...
"how about you meet her and talk with her, she's really nice."
OF's..."you choose her or us!"

Madison thinks...
Matching backpack girl has done nothing wrong...
     my old friends are being rude and mean...
          friends don't try to control you, bullies try to control you...
Madison chooses to eat lunch with matching backpack girl...

Madison comes home and tells us what happened...
we tell her we're proud of her...
we ask if she wants to call her old friends and talk about the situation...
she doesn't...she wants to wait over the weekend and see what happens on Monday...
maybe everyone was tired from the long first week of school and sports try-outs...

Monday morning...
old friends approach Madison before school starts,
"so who are you going to choose her or us?"
Madison said,
"I'm going to choose her, she hasn't done anything wrong!"


Matching backpack girl talks to Madison is class...
telling her it's okay if she hangs out with the old friends, she can tell they don't like her and she doesn't want Madison to not have her friends.
Madison said,
"no, you've done nothing wrong, I am going to stay with you!"

Meantime...I am frustrated...
of these 2 old friends, one is a REALLY REALLY good friend, they've been in class since 2nd grade
     (sorta a big deal when you have 120 kids in the same grade!)...
how can her friend not trust her?
why can't she broaden her friendships?
why are we back at this point of drama?
(we had friend drama for Madison's first 3 years of school...
until she found this really really good friend)
after lots of inner-turmoil I decided that I needed to talk to the mom of her really good friend...
we as parents have always trusted her parents,
we're on many of the same pages when it comes to parenting our kids....
and I would want to know if Madison had done this to one of her friends...

I find really, really good friend's mother and we talk...
I ask her if she knew about the drama on Friday...
what drama?
...nothing...
really?  what consumed Madison all weekend long and made her feel sick going back to school today and her daughter had told her nothing...
so I layout the whole story...
also remembering that although Madison is a sweet girl, her story is HER story and old friend's story might be different and might 'feel' different from her side of things.
Madison may have been seeing things thru emotional goggles...
one of the biggest issues I have with this whole thing is
     I like...really really like...her old friend.
they belong together...they GET each other in a very special way...
they are supposed to be friends...we love old friend's family...
not just her parents but her siblings as well...
Madison and old friend NEED to be together

And that is why I am so proud of Madison...
she knows all this...
she gets this...
she knows how hard those first 3 years of school were...
she remembers FINALLY finding old friend,
she remembers when they were new friends...
she can't imagine life without old friend now...
she also loves old friend's family...
but she knew that when friends were telling her she had to choose...
choose them or matching backpack girl...

Madison, heart-breaking, knew that matching backpack girl had done nothing wrong for these friends to tell her she couldn't be friends with both, knew she needed to choose the unknown, she couldn't choose her old friends, her friends that 'get' her, if her 'friends' were telling her she had to choose then her friends had changed and Madison needed to stay true to herself and choose the scary unknown, because even though it was unknown it was right.
(seriously...how many of us adults have been faced with choose old comfortable but wrong, and the unknown but right path...and chosen the comfortable wrong path?)

back to my talk with old friend's mom...
she's frustrated...
she knows Madison and she knows her daughter
and she knows that Madison wouldn't have made up this drama...
that Madison had been hurt (and maybe still being hurt) by her daughter
she knows her daughter did something painful, hurtful, and wrong...
she is pretty frustrated with her daughter....
she's going thru that, 'what did we do wrong?' as parents thing...
I am reminding her about that old thing we call free will...
she can teach her daughter everything right yet, her daughter still has to choose her own path...
this isn't a parenting issue, they didn't raise her to do this to old friends and potential new friends...
yet, as parents we have that small glimpse of God's pain, when our children make the wrong choice even when they know the truth...
old friends mom was ready to go home and tear her daughter apart...she wanted to yell at her and then have her call and apologize...I wanted that to...
but then we got to thinking...our girls are getting older...having their mommies make them 'kiss and make up' isn't what they need.
our girls are in middle school...
they're 11 1/2...
they might not always tell us when a friend has hurt them...
they are at the age that rather than a demanded apology the hurt child needs to approach the one that hurt them,
and say, "hey, you hurt me!"
    "What you did wasn't okay?" 
 they need to ask,
     "Did I maybe do something that caused you to react this way?"
they need to learn that mom isn't going to always be there to fix it...
but they can learn that when mom is still holding their hand...

so old friend's mom still had a nice long talk with old friend...
...and her dad did some talking too...
they asked her "why?"
"had matching backpack girl done something to her?"
"does she know matching backpack girl?"
etc, etc, etc...
they walked her through how her actions hurt her closest friend
how she hurt a girl that she did't even know (matching backpack girl)
how she embarrassed them
how they were proud that Madison her closest friend stood up to her when she was making wrong choices

and then we had Madison call her...
Madison was the one that had been hurt,
she needed to call her friend and tell her,
"you hurt me...
"you didn't act how a friend should act...
"I want to be your friend but I'm not going to chose you over matching backpack girl, because matching backpack girl has done nothing wrong!"

Madison had to make the stand...

she needed to initiate the conversation...
    not her mom or old friend's mom..
she needed to learn that her mom isn't going to always be the one to fix all the wrongs
but she could still do that with her mom sitting next to her.

She was amazing...
she said,
"I need to ask you why you've been hurtful to me?"
"Why you are being mean to my new friend?"
"Why you are asking me to choose?"

Her friend asked for forgiveness
she didn't know why she was being mean, but knows it was wrong
maybe she was being influenced by another friend,
     but that was wrong of her to allow her to dictate her actions.
she wants to talk to matching backpack girl and tell her she is sorry,
     ask if she'd be willing to try to be her friend even though she was mean to her

Tuesday morning...
old friend is in library and hour before school...
....so is matching backpack girl....
they are the only two in the library...
...old friend approaches matching backpack girl...
asks if they can talk,
tells her she's sorry for how she was acting,
wants to know if they can start over fresh...
can we all be friends?
matching backpack girl says yes...

old friend has some time to hang out and get to know matching backpack girl before Madison gets to school...
and guess what?
she likes her, she really, really likes her
matching backpack girl is a good person...

there were other 'characters' in the drama...maybe ones that aren't as close, maybe some that influenced old friend's behavior, ones that aren't interested in trying to be friends with matching backpack girl ...
but maybe it's time to distance ourselves from those friends...
move them from 'close friends' to 'I'll-say-hi-to-you-in-the-hallway' friends...
     or maybe even, say good-bye altogether...

Beau and I are so proud of how Madison stood up for right in this situation...
we know that we've 'taught' her to do right, we've instilled in her life God's truths
coincidentally (or not) her youth pastor just finished a series on
    being who you are, not someone else!
last weeks lesson was on Esther and living into who God made you to be...

we also know that this was/is not about us,
   this isn't because we did the right thing as parents...
or that her youth pastor just finished an amazing series

good parents have kids that make bad choices
     and horrible parents have kids that make amazing choices...

this was/is about Madison...
in a difficult moment she chose right!
     not easy,
         not comfortable
               not the known...
she made the moral choice, the good choice, the one that God was leading her to make

Her greatness...that God has planed for her...
     ...is her being her...
living her life and being the person God has planned her to be...
she was born to be this tenderhearted, empathetic, friend...
to stand up against 'evil'
...yes, I said evil...
girls being mean is the opposite of goodness and righteousness
therefore...they are acting out in evil...
Madison was standing up against sin....

Madison...you were born for this!

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." (Edmund Burke)

wake up God, our neighborhood is ON fire!

so, our neighborhood caught on fire this past Saturday.
actually it was the 'green belt'/canyon behind our neighborhood that burned...
it was one of the craziest experiences of my life....

It was Saturday afternoon and I was on the computer in our home 'office',
Beau and Wilson were also in the office, Wilson watching a movie and Beau sleeping soundly on the futon.
Madison was not home...she was swimming with a friend....

I heard a loud airplane overhead...
it sounded loud, big, and really low...
we have a small airport not too far from our house,
so we hear plans overhead... but small plans
so I began thinking...that was big and really low for the airport....
seconds latter I smell smoke...
why do I smell smoke?
I get up, look out front to the street...
it is smoky and eerily quiet...
I went to the back and our yard was filled with smoke, I couldn't see our back fence...

I yelled for Beau and Wilson...told them we were leaving, the neighborhood was on fire!

we jumped in the van (both Beau and Wilson with no shoes)...

Beau wakes up fully at this point and decides we need to know what is actually happening...

he runs out back, sees trees on fire and decides we're going to stay and fight the fire.

By this time the eerily quiet scene of our street, from moments before, has turned into chaos...

people running down the street carrying belongings, 

dogs running, 

kids crying, 

fire trucks, 

firemen, 

reporters, 

neighbors and strangers...

after some 'discuss-ments' Beau and I decide to stay and try to fight the fire...
We get Wilson out of the car and have him help us with hoses and stuff in the back yard...

we open up our gates...
now our backyard is like the street...
firemen...
reporter/cameraman...
strangers...
neighbors...

and then Beau tells me to call Steve..

Steve is our boss...

he's our Senior Pastor...

& most importantly he's a great friend...

so, I call & not-so-rationally tell him our neighborhood is burning down and to pray!

he does...and he sends out the request on our church email prayer chain ...

up to this point...the trees in our neighbors back yard were engulfed in flames...
the fire was feet away from our other neighbors fence...
the wind is blowing up the canyon towards all the houses...

the fire stopped moving forward...

against all reason...

against wind and dry grasses...

the fire stopped moving forward... 

the neighbors teenage son was fighting the fires with all the neighbors hoses...

the firemen have shown up...

but really...

the fire should have burned more...
houses REALLY should be burning...
...the prayer went out...and the fire stopped moving towards all the homes...
the bombers where dropping flame retardant
and helicopters were dropping water

the firemen were everywhere...
they saved many homes that day...

but God had a huge hand in the direction that the fire didn't take...

seriously...the fire came up to the neighbors stacked firewood...but did not burn it!

below is a bird's eye view of our neighborhood and the 'green belt' behind us...

(our house is the red X in the middle)...

the black is the approximate path of the fire...

it's my lovely paintshop job...so, it's not an actual picture of the fire damage...but you get the idea...

do you see ALL of the houses that the fire didn't burn...

did NOT touch...

60+ homes were threatened by this fire...

and NOT one was burned!...not one house was burned... 

don't worry...I didn't take this during the chaos...

when things had calmed down...these two firemen were just casually walking down the block back to their truck..I asked for a picture with Wilson...

two of the many many blistered oak leaves that litter our lawns now (both front and back)...

we are keeping these as a reminder of Saturday...

a reminder that in chaos we need to stop and seek God first...

ironically...or maybe not so much

Steve preached about "Kingdom Challenges" on Sunday...

Mark 4:35-41

where Jesus & His disciples are in the boat at night and a storm comes up...

Jesus is sleeping and the disciples are freaking out...

only to wake up Jesus...not to ask for help...

but to tell Him the boat is going down...that they are all going to drown...

Jesus stopped the storm with his words...

He then looked at the disciples and said, 

    “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”

...

hmmm...I was in that boat on Saturday...

I was in a sinking boat and Jesus was sleeping in the back...and rather than wake Him up and ask for his help...

I FREAKED OUT...

and even when I did 'wake Him up'...rather than say, 

"God, you can stop this fire"...

I said..."wake up God, our neighborhood is ON fire!"

God knew there was a fire...and...

God stopped that fire!