Letter to My Daughter

I heard on the radio this morning that the number one person that influences a girls personal image is her mother...eek!

There are also hundred's of studies that say how important a fathers role in a girls life is...
A healthy relationship with her brother is also very important...
Healthy relationships with her extended family are important...

I know this...I know that both my husband and I play a huge roll in our daughter's self image...
I also know I will fail her.
I know my husband will fail her.
Her brother will fail her..
Her grandparents, aunts, uncles & cousins will fail her...

Guess what, I don't need a study to tell me...
the number one most important relationship my daughter needs to become a healthy, responsible woman with a great self image...
Her relationship with her Creator God, Abba Father, Jesus Christ...

He.Will.Never. fail her!

and because of this I decided to write her a letter....

Dear Sweet Daughter of Mine,

I love you more than you can fathom {that is, until you have your own children, but until then}.  I want you to have a life filled to the brim with love & joy.

What I want you to know...need you to know.
You are designed to be loved.  
We all know that deep in our core, that we are created for love.  
But please never confuse what that love is.  You were created by the God of the universe to be loved by the God of the universe.  In the deepest part of your soul you will yearn for that love and search for that love.  
Make no mistake that you deserve that love, there is nothing wrong with this desire to be love.
But know this,
that NO man, no woman, no child on this earth that can love you enough to fulfill that need.  
God created that desire so that you would seek Him.

I love you more than you can fathom, but my love for you is nothing compared to God.
Your father loves you more than you can fathom, but his love is nothing compared to God's love for you.

Also, I am so very blessed to have met, fallen in love with, married and fallen more in love with your father.  
But guess what...
He is not my soul mate...  
He does not 'complete me'...
If for some reason your father was not in my life I would be sad, terribly sad, but I would go on and live the life that God created me to live, because my life is not set on a earthly man that I have chosen to live my life with.  No man on earth can make me whole!
My life is set on the Heavenly Father I have chosen to seek after.

You are beautiful.  Yes, I am your mother and because of that I will always believe you are beautiful.  But I also know that you are beautiful because of who created you.  
No article of clothing, hair style, make up brush can make you more beautiful than God Himself.  I will tell you that you are beautiful, your father will tell you that you are beautiful, your grandparents, friends, aunts & uncle, will tell you that you are beautiful {your brother may not, but that's just because he's your little brother!}, and someday, when you are grown {35'ish}, men will tell you that you are beautiful...those words, my words, "daughter, you are beautiful" aren't what make you beautiful!  You need to tuck this away in your heart, hear it over and over, what makes you beautiful is that the God of the Universe, the God that formed the stars in the sky, the mountains & oceans, paints the sunsets each night, that God...He.Created.You.  He formed you!  He drew the curve of your cheek, placed the twinkle in your eyes, counted every hair on your head, knew the size of your feet and the strength of your legs....  He is why you are beautiful!  You are not beautiful because your father and I tell you, you are beautiful because He says so!

That life filled to the brim with love & joy that I mentioned at the beginning of this letter...that isn't something that just happens.  And notice I didn't say a life without pain.  Not that I want you to have a life of pain, but I also know that pain helps us grow, that pain turns us to our Creator.  The greatest pain so far in my life was the first 17 days of your life...not knowing if you, my precious daughter, would live.  But that pain turned me into the arms of my God.  I sought out His Love and Peace and through that pain my life was filled with love & joy.  
God's plan for your life is to 
"prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 
{Jeremiah 29:11}......but don't stop reading the passage there...keep reading...
"Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord."
We need to seek God with all our heart...God's plan 'not to harm us' plays into the fact that we are seeking Him!  Not seeking a life free of pain, not seeking to be beautiful, not seeking to find a man to share it with...
When you seek God and allow HIS plan to dictate your life, that is when the remainder of His plan for prosperity & hope will become fulfilled ...
oh, and prosperity isn't 'the American dream'...God's idea of prosperity looks a little different.  Prosperity is a heart issue not a bank account number!

There is so much more that I want you to know.  So I will end this letter with...
"till next time!"
Your loving, faithful, full of mistakes mom!

This Happened

 15 years ago today!

 we became husband and wife....

there was some kissing....

some laughing...

 and dancing...

and yes...we were children!

I'm not going to blog about
*15 things I've learned in 15 years or
*15 reasons why I love him more now or
*15 things I wish I knew before I got married...

I just wanted to simply say that getting married at 20, although young, was the best thing I have ever done.  I am thankful to God for putting Beau into my life, thankful we married when we did, thankful we chose to have our children when we did...
Beau is a great husband...he's not perfect...
I think I might be an okay wife...I'm not perfect...
we try to always communicate our feelings...
we don't always do that as calm, rational adults...
but we do communicate...
I know he's not a mind reader...
even when I drop amazingly obvious hints...
I can't get mad at him when I haven't communicated what I need or want from him.

Our goal for our marriage is to be in relationship with God and each other and to grow in that relationship.  We are not trying to change the other person {or train, like some would say} into the man or woman we want them to be.  We are hopefully helping each other grow and change and become the man & woman God would have us be.

and that, for us, is what marriage is all about.

Our marriage has been blessed and for that I am thankful!

I love you Beau!

He Doesn't Babysit

Nope, my husband doesn't babysit!
And will NEVER babysit our children!

He is their father...gave them 1/2 of their DNA...why would anyone ever assume that he would merely 'babysit' his own children!?!?

We live in a era that women are put on a pedestal for all they do...glorifying women and all their choices...{don't get me wrong, I think some women are pretty darn amazing}...but for some reason to make everyone believe that women are amazing we had to be fed this plate of lies that men are idiots!  That the only way women can be amazing is if men are the opposite.

Sitcoms show us the bumbling, stupid father that can't make a trip to the store without making a mistake.

Commercials show us that the biggest challenge a diaper can be put to is to leave a diaper clad baby in the care of their father while a football game is on, because a father is to single minded to watch a sport and care for their child!

And society in general...they always assume if a man is with children he is 'babysitting' them, that he's 'stuck with the kids' for the day...that no man would actually choose to parent their own children, choose to hang out with their kids and be their dad!

Let's get real here, I believe in equality...some women are pretty darn amazing...and there are plenty of men that are bumbling idiots...
but their are plenty of women that share the title of bumbling idiots!  And there are some pretty darn amazing men!

I married one...and had his babies...

and he will never babysit our children...he is their father...he will parent our children!

When they were babies he changed diapers, he burped them, he fed them {when they weren't nursing}, he bathed them, dressed them, rocked them to sleep as infants, read to them, sang to them.

As they grow his role is changing, he still tucks them in each night and reads with them, helps them with their homework, makes them dinner, washes dishes or sits back and relaxes now that our children wash the dishes.

He has taught them that being yourself is way more important than being what others want you to be.

He takes them to old bookstores and thrift stores {helping them to respect the things from past generations}.

He teaches them about music; from Benny Goodman, to the Beatles, to Abba, to Journey, to Michael Jackson, to U2 {my kids can play the "who's this band/singer?" game WAY better than I will ever hope to}.

He helps them with their piano or just sits and plays with them.

He takes them on bike rides.

He dates our daughter, teaching her how and what to expect from the men in her future.

He plays games with them {board games, card games, video games, role playing games}.

Starting from a young age he taught them the history of the original Star Wars {and although he's morally opposed to the new movies has left it up to them to make their own choice}.

He is teaching them to mow the lawn.

He watches 1950's horror movies with them.

He takes them kayaking.

He has taught our son that hair style doesn't make you a man.

He loves & respects their mother.

He baptized both of our children!

He has taught them to pray, he has taught them to seek out God's truths in their lives, he has help them memorize God's word. He has put God first in his life and has modeled for them how to live a life that glorifies God.

He has never.once.babysat our children!  From day one he has been their father.

Happy Father's Day Beau, I love you, thanks for being my babies' daddy!

Daddy Issues

This post has been in my heart for awhile now...and with Father's Day right around the corner I needed to get it out....

Don't we all have them...?
Daddy Issues

we have these images of superman type fathers...

Why is that?
I have a pretty decent, loving, good father...
but guess what, he's human!  My father was not, and is not, perfect!

I know women and men with daddy issues...
I know those that have never known their father
Those that wish they never knew their father
Those that had dads like mine
and those with amazing, Ward Cleaver fathers....

all of them...Have. Daddy. Issues...

why?  why is having daddy issues so universal?
maybe, just maybe, it's because we have this need ingrained into each and every one of us for a perfect heavenly Father.

Why do you think God tells us He is our father?  Maybe He knows...because He created us....that we all have this natural desire for a perfect father figure and yet no man on earth can ever 100% fulfill that roll!

Guess what else...?
we women,
we {and by 'we', I mean me} take these daddy issues and we bring them into our marriages...
however horrible or wonderful {or wherever they fall on the scale} our fathers were/are...we bring our daddy issues into our marriages and project them onto our husbands!  we either choose husbands that are the opposite of our fathers or husbands that are very similar to our fathers and then hold up these unrealistic expectations for them to be nothing like our fathers or everything like our fathers...

and when they fall short of either one of those marks we fight, kicking and screaming that they are failing us...
{pause...
I am in no way saying any husband is perfect...
just like no father is perfect, they are all human}
but as wives have we taken our daddy issues and rather than turn towards our Heavenly Father to fulfill our needs we turn towards our husband and try to mold him into something he can't possibly be.  trying to get him to fill shoes that he can never fill....

remember that stupid line from Jerry McGuire,
"you complete me!"...
UGH, I've hated that from the moment I heard it... but that's what we're all trying to find, we're trying to find the man that will fill all the holes that our earthly fathers left gaping open...God is the ONLY one that can complete us, and it's a lifelong journey!

we all have daddy issues...
because we all need a perfect dad
we try to mold our husbands using all the daddy issues we came into the relationship with...
we don't want our kids to have daddy issues
and we want our husbands to fill our need that our daddy issues left in us...
our fathers & our husbands also have daddy issues
and our kids... yep, they will have daddy issues also
we were created with a need that no earthly father can ever live into!

but guess what?
we have a perfect father...He can help heal our daddy issues, help our children with their daddy issues and help our marriages not suffer because of them....

See how very much our Father loves us, for He calls us His children, and that is what we are!

 ~ 1 John 3:1 

Your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

 ~ Matthew 6:8

I will be a Father to you and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.

 ~ 2 Corinthians 6:18 

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to the two women in my life that have help me become the mother that I am today.

Mom, 

Thanks for everything you've ever done for me.  

I treasure our friendship and appreciate the fact that you saved it for my adult years and were my mom first.  So many mothers try to be their children's friend when their children are still children.  You were always my mom first and then when I grew up and moved out you slowly transitioned into a friend!  Thanks for that special gift.

I also want to thank you for the legacy of Jesus Christ that you gave to me.  What an amazing gift you gave me, introducing me you Jesus as a child, always having us in church, praying for us constantly, listening to our questions and helping me have my own relationship with God.  I am forever grateful for that gift and even more grateful now that I am a mother, knowing that your introducing me to God as a child opened up that door for future generations, namely, my own children, to have that relationship, what an amazing gift you have given my children!  

Thank You!

Kathy {my mother-in-love},

How grateful I am for you.  So many women I know have a bitter, spiteful relationship with the women that raised their son!  I have known from the first time Beau introduced us that you were special!  You truly are a gift for me and my entire family.  I treasure you, your love, your guidance, your prayers!  You are a mother-in-law that women everywhere desire!

I also want to thank you for the legacy of Jesus Christ that you gave your son!  I am beyond grateful to have met, fallen in love and married your son!  He leads and guides our family towards God every day and that is because of the gift you, as his mother, gave him by introducing him to Jesus.  Thank you for the legacy of a relationship with Jesus Christ that you have given my children.

Thank You!

I also want to thank both my mom and mother-in-law for the legacy of marriage they have given my children!  Because of your love for God and your relationship with Jesus Christ, your love for your husbands and children you have committed loving marriages!  I have no idea the issues either of you have faced in your marriages {having only been married for just under 15 years I know it's hard work}, I can't begin to grasp the struggles that you two have overcome in your marriages, in a day and age when all the marriages around you were crumbling, I thank you for fighting it out, holding strong, loving your children enough to hold onto your marriage vows, the promise you made to your husbands and God!  Thank you for that gift, that legacy, that you passed onto Beau & I and to your grandchildren!  In a day in age when 50% of marriages end in divorce our children can look around their family and see two sets of grandparents and one set of parents {and an Uncle & Aunt}, no steps, that's 4 marriages that have broken away from the statistics and  have set their marriages in God's hands and not in the world!

Thanks, 

May your Mother's Day be blessed!

p.s. Thank you Kathy for the gift of a kid free weekend with my husband!  

November 30

1}  I'm thankful for my Bible.  How amazing is it that I can hold God's words in my hands and any time I want I can open it up and hear His voice.  It blows me away that there are still people groups in this world that have no written word....seriously, their language is not yet been written down...and because of that they also have no Bible...God's word is not something they have ever read.
Without counting and searching I know that right now there are at least 10 Bibles in my home...but probably closer to 15.  Everyday...every minute...I can pick up God's letter to me and read it.  I'm thankful for that.

2}  Thankful for a good nights sleep despite the storm and no husband being home.  I struggle with fear.  And those are my two worst...windy, stormy nights always equal no sleep...husband out of town...no sleep.  Last night I slept like a baby and feel amazing today.  It was totally a gift from God.  I prayed all day yesterday when I would think of the night ahead of me.  I kept seeking God's peace and comfort.  And guess what, He gave them to me.  I woke up this morning so very thankful, and surprised, that I had slept all thru the night with no fear!

3}  Thankful for Christmas & Christmas decorations.  Love that we celebrate it for a whole month...Going to pull out the decorations today and get some twinkling lights strung...and set up all my nativities...

Bonus...
4}  Thankful for 2 friends that tried to help me fix my fence last night in the storm...one being 9 months pregnant {only a week from her due date}...it was very comical with the 3 of us trying to figure out something to hold the gate from blowing open and making noise all night long...and we were unsuccessful in our attempts, and I'm pretty sure I going to have some clean up this morning...

also thankful that I took this month to reflect on being thankful...something we do no do enough of as a culture...

November 28

1}  I'm thankful for minimum days...both of my kids have minimum days on Wednesdays...Wednesdays are a busy, late days...having the kids get out an hour earlier each Wednesday makes our Wednesdays less chaotic and hectic...

2}  I'm thankful for completion...specifically completed puzzles.  

Thanksgiving Family Puzzle 2012...with a missing piece

an unnamed child of the male persuasion
found the missing piece in his coat pocket....hmmmm

completion...1000 piece TAKE that!

3}  I'm thankful that my husband doesn't have to travel for work.  A few times a year he may have to go to a conference or something but I'm thankful that he's not traveling weekly or even monthly.  I like having him around.

November 23

1}  I'm thankful for humor.  I am glad that I can laugh at myself, I can laugh with my husband and kids.  My kids are hilarious and crack me up all the time.  And I think laughter is one of the most important parts of a healthy marriage, or at least our marriage.

2}  I'm thankful for desserts...such a simple thing that brings such joy.

the pie tree! such a beautiful sight

3}  I'm thankful for where we live.  I love living in FAR Northern California.  It is truly one of the most beautiful places to live.  Yesterday my in-laws, daughter and I were able to participate in the annual Turkey Trot on the gorgeous Sacramento River Trail.  We have a wonderful trail system in Redding, with 100's of miles of paved trails just a few miles in all directions.  We live minutes from 2 beautiful lakes, about an hour from 2 beautiful mountains, just a few hours from the ocean. Today we will go out and explore more of our 'home' with the family.
I love this place, it is a gift from God.

November 9

1}  I'm thankful for our home.  We're renters...we've been owners, and now we rent.  It was some hard choices that led us to that decision. {I blogged about it here}  But 18+ months later, I am so thankful.  I really love our house...its home.  It's cozy and clean, and not falling down around us. I'm so very thankful for this home.

girl child mowing our lawn!

2}  I'm thankful for a garage.  This is the first house I've lived in {E.V.E.R!} with a functioning garage. And I LOVE it.  I love that on cold, frosty mornings...like this morning...I can walk into the garage, get in my van and drive away, no scrapping of windows this morning....  that filled me with Thanks.

3}  I'm thankful for Friday's.  It's our day off.  Beau works Sunday-Thursday's...and depending on my work load and how the rest of my week went {if I took a day off with a sick kid, or to go on a field trip, etc} I usually have Friday's off as well.  It's nice that we get this day off together with the kids still at school.  Seriously, I'm married to him, I work with him {we share an office}, we usually eat lunch together, and we have these special Friday's off together...  We have tried in the past to make special days of the month for a date night...but now we realize...we have lunches and every Friday together...we are almost on one continuous date!

November 8

1}  I'm thankful for our parents and their marriages.

my parents @ our wedding

my in-laws @ our wedding

I think it may be a rarity that both sets of our parents are still married.  Both got married young and in an age when divorce was pretty normal our parents stayed the course and are still married.  I'm sure their marriages haven't been smooth sailing, but they love each other, have grown together, and love God.  Both my parents and my in-laws marriage have taught Beau and I things about marriage, commitment, and love.  Their legacy of marriage is something I am deeply thankful for.  My children see marriage as the norm, they see commitment as the option, not quitting.  I know many marriages end today because one or both parties just don't 'feel' it...they made a promise, they need to sit down and communicate and work it out, especially if they have children.  If you fall out of love...DEAL...and then try your hardest to fall back in love!  I'm sorry, that's my opinion.  I'm sure there were times in both our parents marriages that it got tough, that they may have considered not sticking it out...but I'm thankful they did our marriage is stronger because of their commitment and our children have a better chance at having strong marriages because of our parents choices!  

disclaimer:  I think divorce is the answer to SOME marriages {the 3 A's Abuse, Adultery, Addiction}

2}  I'm thankful for my family...mom, dad and sister.

family Christmas pic, cira 1984,
I'm in front holding the cat.

My parents were amazing parents to my passionate personality.  They didn't control me, they taught me to control myself.  They reinforced over and over that I was responsible for the choices that I made, that I had free will, and I would have consequences if I broke the rules!  And BOY did I have consequences...but I'm thankful for those lessons learned at a young age because life consequences for bad choices {sin} at the age of 10 is way  better than life consequences for sin at the age of 16...18...21...  Their parenting taught me responsibility for myself and helped guide my life to where it is today.

3}  I'm thankful for my in-laws.  I am 100% totally blessed with great in-laws.  Those 'mother-in-law' jokes don't make sense in my world.  I have a mother-in-law that I love, who raised a great son, who loves my children and who only gives her advice with love and tenderness.  The rest of them are great too.  I also really appreciate my sister-in-law, she's an amazing aunt to our kids.  Both my mother-&-sister-in-law have taught me how to be a better wife and mother and I am so very grateful for them.  I personally think the Chambers Men marry amazing women!

a shot with the in-laws 2010...
we all look younger now, except the kids are all older

And this is posting a day late...I wrote it yesterday, but forgot to post...

November 5th

I'm thankful for my husband

1}  I'm thankful that we met young and married young.  That might sound crazy.  But we have lived our lives together, 'grown up' together.  We came into our relationship with very little baggage from previous relationships because we we're young when we started dating (I was 18 he was 20).

2}  Thankful that he is a Godly man who desires to lead his family in God's will.

3}  Thankful that we fight.  We are both passionate people and we started out our relationship stuffing our feelings and not being open.  We have grown up and know how to fight...well, at least know we need to not stuff our feelings.  We don't always fight the right way, I may call him names...I might get too emotional...but we work it out and the end of the fight there is always resolution.  I know some marriages that are a lot older than ours that never fight.  Without fighting you don't have change.  The fights help one or both of us see our own faults, {which is my favorite part-sarcasm in case you didn't know}, and in seeing our faults we can work on change and then together we grow in our relationship and hopefully in a deeper relationship with God.

4}  I'm thankful for our make-ups after we fight...and that's all I'm saying on that!-you're welcome Ken!

5}  I'm thankful for the father that he is.  I knew at the early age of 18 that he'd probably be a good dad {Yes,I was thinking about it, but it wasn't the most important thing for me at 18 or even 20 when we got married}...but I had no idea what an amazing dad he really would be.

6}  I'm thankful for his home-bodyness...{yep, made that word up!}...he is a home body...I am not.  His desire and need to be home forces me to have down-time that I would fill with stuff.  I would be going and doing and wearing myself out if not for his need to be home.

7}  I'm also thankful for him saying yes to my going & doing.  He says yes to many of my, 'lets go do something' moments, when all he wants is to stay home...and he usually enjoys himself.

8}  I'm thankful for his love and attraction to me.  He loves me without makeup, prefers me without makeup.  He loves my after-baby-c-section-nursed-two-children body.  Where he has aged well, {he's thinner and fitter today than he was when we got married}, I have just aged....  And he loves all of me. I'm thankful!  Although, he has WAY more white hair than I do!

9}  I'm thankful for his gift of music.  He had introduced me to a world of music that I never knew.  And he has given that gift to our children.  I love that he will just randomly sit down at the piano and get lost in playing for 45+ minutes...I love it!  And that he has a record {yes record...LP} to play for any and all occasions.

10}  I'm thankful for his humor.  He makes me laugh every day.  He is the funniest man I know...although he has yet to discover how hilarious I am or maybe he's just not willing to admit it yet!

And many, many, more things...again I have surpassed my 3 things...

flighty

you know those couples that have been married 30 years and say,

   "we learn something new about each other every day!"

well, I think that's just weird...do you guys not talk or something...

or am I the weird one?

because I feel like I know my husband even though we've only been together 16 years (married 14)...

there are those times, like twice a year that I learn something new,
     like get brand new information
         either about his likes or dislikes
         maybe his family
         his childhood
         his personality...

but I know him...
we talk...
we like each other
and interact with each other
and I KNOW him...

I don't want to learn new things about him everyday...
    I would feel like I didn't know him...
          that we don't communicate with each other...

photo by Betsey Walton Photography

I get what they're saying...

I think...

that being married, even for decades...

     you don't know EVERYTHING about the other person...

but really,
learning something new about a person everyday for 30 years?

I did the math...that's 10,950 new things 

     (and that's not adding extra days for those leap years!

...that's a lot of stuff to NOT know about your spouse...

I guess you have to factor in things like a person changing...

I have watched my husband change and his likes, dislikes, interests, & hobbies have evolved over the past 16 years, but is that learning something new or is that growing with someone?...

anyways...

it happened this past weekend...

I learned something BRAND-SPANKIN'-NEW about my husband...

     and also a little something about myself...

you know the ol' Flight or Fight thing...

in a crisis/emergency situation your brain does one of two things...

it either Flights (gets the heck out of dodge) 

or Fights...

I am a Flight...drop everything, nothing needs to be saved except my family...and run, drive, whatever mode of transportation available...flight, flight, flight!!!!

Beau is a Fight...drop everything, and fight!  fight for my family, fight for strangers, fight for right!

This can make for a very uncomfortable marriage 'conversations' during said crisis....

oh, and I also learned that I am non-rational, highly emotional, pretty much a nut-case, in crisis situations...like our neighborhood being on fire!...not the best thing for a mom to be...

I would like to say that in the moment I appreciated my husband's fight ...

   I did not...
it pretty much added to my nut-case state of mind.
I needed to flight.
I had my baby (my other baby was with a friend) and I NEEDED my baby's daddy to get in the flight mode and get the heck out of dodge...

I now know that my husband chose the right option,
stay and fight...
protect his family, 
help neighbors, 
help strangers,
take pictures...(yes, take pictures during crisis to remember later)

I also know without a shadow of a doubt that if he thought for one second that the crisis was too dangerous he would chose flight, because he is rational, calm, able to use his reasoning skills in crisis situations...unlike his flighty wife...

As I watched our neighbors all figure out their flight or fight I saw something interesting...
The a majority of those choosing flight were women...
wives & mothers...
and those choosing fight were men...
husbands, fathers, a teenage son that saved his house and potentially many others including ours!

I wonder if this has something to do with being the provider or the nester
(yes I know that's not a word!)...
Beau was protecting...
I was needing to get all my chicks into a safer nest than our current one!

So, I guess that I might not have learned something new about Beau everyday of our 14 year marriage, but I did learn something new this year!...
I learned that I am so glad he is a fighter and not flighty.
I am glad that during a crisis I can look at him and he will make all rational, sane decisions that need to be made for our family....
because I sure as heck can't!

do you know your reaction...are you flight or fight?

and/or have you learned something new about your spouse after years of marriage?

wake up God, our neighborhood is ON fire!

so, our neighborhood caught on fire this past Saturday.
actually it was the 'green belt'/canyon behind our neighborhood that burned...
it was one of the craziest experiences of my life....

It was Saturday afternoon and I was on the computer in our home 'office',
Beau and Wilson were also in the office, Wilson watching a movie and Beau sleeping soundly on the futon.
Madison was not home...she was swimming with a friend....

I heard a loud airplane overhead...
it sounded loud, big, and really low...
we have a small airport not too far from our house,
so we hear plans overhead... but small plans
so I began thinking...that was big and really low for the airport....
seconds latter I smell smoke...
why do I smell smoke?
I get up, look out front to the street...
it is smoky and eerily quiet...
I went to the back and our yard was filled with smoke, I couldn't see our back fence...

I yelled for Beau and Wilson...told them we were leaving, the neighborhood was on fire!

we jumped in the van (both Beau and Wilson with no shoes)...

Beau wakes up fully at this point and decides we need to know what is actually happening...

he runs out back, sees trees on fire and decides we're going to stay and fight the fire.

By this time the eerily quiet scene of our street, from moments before, has turned into chaos...

people running down the street carrying belongings, 

dogs running, 

kids crying, 

fire trucks, 

firemen, 

reporters, 

neighbors and strangers...

after some 'discuss-ments' Beau and I decide to stay and try to fight the fire...
We get Wilson out of the car and have him help us with hoses and stuff in the back yard...

we open up our gates...
now our backyard is like the street...
firemen...
reporter/cameraman...
strangers...
neighbors...

and then Beau tells me to call Steve..

Steve is our boss...

he's our Senior Pastor...

& most importantly he's a great friend...

so, I call & not-so-rationally tell him our neighborhood is burning down and to pray!

he does...and he sends out the request on our church email prayer chain ...

up to this point...the trees in our neighbors back yard were engulfed in flames...
the fire was feet away from our other neighbors fence...
the wind is blowing up the canyon towards all the houses...

the fire stopped moving forward...

against all reason...

against wind and dry grasses...

the fire stopped moving forward... 

the neighbors teenage son was fighting the fires with all the neighbors hoses...

the firemen have shown up...

but really...

the fire should have burned more...
houses REALLY should be burning...
...the prayer went out...and the fire stopped moving towards all the homes...
the bombers where dropping flame retardant
and helicopters were dropping water

the firemen were everywhere...
they saved many homes that day...

but God had a huge hand in the direction that the fire didn't take...

seriously...the fire came up to the neighbors stacked firewood...but did not burn it!

below is a bird's eye view of our neighborhood and the 'green belt' behind us...

(our house is the red X in the middle)...

the black is the approximate path of the fire...

it's my lovely paintshop job...so, it's not an actual picture of the fire damage...but you get the idea...

do you see ALL of the houses that the fire didn't burn...

did NOT touch...

60+ homes were threatened by this fire...

and NOT one was burned!...not one house was burned... 

don't worry...I didn't take this during the chaos...

when things had calmed down...these two firemen were just casually walking down the block back to their truck..I asked for a picture with Wilson...

two of the many many blistered oak leaves that litter our lawns now (both front and back)...

we are keeping these as a reminder of Saturday...

a reminder that in chaos we need to stop and seek God first...

ironically...or maybe not so much

Steve preached about "Kingdom Challenges" on Sunday...

Mark 4:35-41

where Jesus & His disciples are in the boat at night and a storm comes up...

Jesus is sleeping and the disciples are freaking out...

only to wake up Jesus...not to ask for help...

but to tell Him the boat is going down...that they are all going to drown...

Jesus stopped the storm with his words...

He then looked at the disciples and said, 

    “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”

...

hmmm...I was in that boat on Saturday...

I was in a sinking boat and Jesus was sleeping in the back...and rather than wake Him up and ask for his help...

I FREAKED OUT...

and even when I did 'wake Him up'...rather than say, 

"God, you can stop this fire"...

I said..."wake up God, our neighborhood is ON fire!"

God knew there was a fire...and...

God stopped that fire!