Thursday, December 2, 2010

she is our miracle

I may or may not cry during the 'telling' of this story...
    and by cry I mean full-on-ugly-cry!
but, you can not see me, so it doesn't matter...


girl child...aka Madison Lucille age 10

10 years ago the carpet had been ripped out from underneath us,
life was turned upside down!

Beau and I went to the hospital with all the
joy,
     excitement,
                   fear that most first time parents have

fear of not knowing what we were doing
fear that we're too young
fear that we didn't save enough
fear that we needed to own a house
fear that we might not be good parents
fear that we might miss sleep more than we love our new baby
....
fear of my 'birth plan' not being followed
fear that I might cave a scream for an epidural
fear that I might not cave and actually follow thru & go all natural
fear that pictures might be taken...of...yeah that!

never fear,
not once,
that our healthy baby girl isn't going to be a healthy baby girl

I've had a wonderful pregnancy
I LOVED being pregnant

done all the right things...
   ...we won't mention the excessive amount of weight I gained

the only thing of concern...the girl child was breech...
so we opt for a scheduled c-section
    so, now my fears are added to...I have to have surgery

still...I'm pregnant with a healthy baby girl....
so even on the way to the hospital with the knowledge of a c-section...
we are filled with joy and excitement...
and are C.LU.E.L.E.S.S.
that there is this thing called the
NICU (Neonatal ICU)
and that it would change our lives

water breaks...labor starts...
    um...I had a scheduled c-section (labor wasn't supposed to start!)
crazy drive to the hospital....
what...who's that...Santa?
really...
had NO idea that Redding had a Downtown Christmas Parade the 1st weekend of December...wow...
didn't want to discover that info when I was in labor!!!
get to hospital thanks to nice RPD getting us around the Jolly 'ol Elf
and some help from a very calm, patient, unexpected friend, Skylar!

rushed to OR....
all nerves...
baby girl is going to be here any moment...
crazy, weird, surreal moment...c-sections are really out-of-body experiences
have no idea that our baby was born...
she makes NO noise...

a dr. had to point out to Beau that there was a medical team 'working' on her in the corner...
we are both in shock...
what's going on...
we have a healthy baby...
medical team rushes baby girl out of OR...Beau blindly follows...
I lay helpless on a table getting all my parts put back together....

long story sort...
Madison had PPHN (Persistent Pulmonary Hyper-tension in Newborns)...
non medical version....cuz I don't know all the proper terms)
when a baby's umbilical cord is cut from mom a magical valve opens up and changes the blood flow in the baby's body
     blood flow of baby inside mommy...
          heart...
          umbilical cord....{to get all the oxygen from mom's blood}...
          throughout body...heart...etc...
    blood flow of baby post mommy...
          heart...lungs...body...heart...etc)....
Madison's magical little valve didn't change...her blood flow stayed the same...she wasn't getting oxygen into her blood, because her blood flow was still going to her umbilical cord and it was no longer attached to mom...so that means no oxygen into all the parts of her body...NOT GOOD!



Why did this happen?
I had a very healthy pregnancy
there are NO signs that this will happen to a baby until they cut the cord...
Madison was right on time
(she was born at 7:02 pm on Dec 2nd...her due date was the 3rd!)
She was 7lbs 11 oz...perfectly healthy weight for a baby

They have no idea why these things happen....
they say it happens in "low stress" birth situations...
meaning the baby was too comfortable during the whole process...
     I mean it is called labor...
our body's are created by the most amazing creator and he designed the entry into this world to be a little stressful for all parties involved....
ours was relatively stress free...considering...my water broke around 5:45 and Madison was born at 7:02....not a long time for her body to experience any stress or to transition from warm cozy comfy womb to cold bright world



the next 3 days are a real blur...
lots of crying...
lots of questions
more crying...
praying
praying
praying
crying

this was from my mom's work calendar on Madison's 'birthday'
Dec 2nd 2000

I 'get' to go home on day 3...
and leave my baby there...
blog edit
I had to gloss over this last night when I was typing...I was already crying a little too much...there is no words to describe that pain...I can hands down say this was the hardest thing I have EVER done!  just walk away and leave my baby!  ...oh, and add to the fact that you still have to pump milk for a baby that you have never even held!  setting your alarm at night to wake up and pump milk into a machine!    this is a horrible form of torture!

more blurs...

day 5...
call from dr's...
they need to send baby girl to a better hospital

rush to hospital
sign papers
cry
pray
questions
pray

dr walks into the private room we were waiting in to tell us that Madison is better...
NOT 'going home better'...
BUT 'she doesn't need to make the dangerous flight to another better hospital'-better

he also said that NOTHING that they had done in the first 5 days was working...
the whole staff was puzzled
our entire family was gathered together in prayer while they readied her little sick body for this flight to save her life...
and that is the moment that God said, "Stop"
"you aren't taking this one!"
"I have plans for her!"
that was the moment that God healed our baby girl!

she had to remain in the hospital for another 12 LONG days,
(17 days total...so very long, yet so very short)
but from that moment on we knew without a shadow of a doubt that she WAS going home
that her body had been thru hell and needed to still figure stuff out, but that she was going to make it!

I have no doubt in my mind, heart or soul that God healed our baby girl
he has amazing plans for her
 this was from my mom's work calendar...
the day that God healed Madison!
Dec 7, 2000


(and that's just the 1st miracle of her body...he has had his hand on her little body countless times!)

She is our walking
laughing
squealing
loving
passionate
sweet
kind hearted
silly
beautiful
miracle of God's!


I am so blessed to be her mother...and I am excited to see all the great things God has planned for her life!

9 comments:

Trudy Bradway-Rose said...

Wow you cried while writing it and I am crying reading it! I didn't realize all this or if I did I had forgotten. I am so happy your miracle is with us today. I send lots of love, hugs, and kisses .... for all of you! A very happy 10th Birthday to cousin Madison! Your young cousin Gwyn will be 9 on the 16th! We really need to get these girls together for a play date (weekend?) sometime!! Happy Holidays to all! Love, Trudy

Renae and Herb Tolbert said...

Oh wow Kiera & Beau!! I had no idea you and Beau had gone through all of that!! We had moved to Texas so were out of touch. I have a whole new appreciation for sweet Madison now. She's a SURVIVOR and a FIGHTER and a MIRACLE! How awesome is that! She's so cute too. Both your kids are beautiful. Love you!

Grannie Jan said...

I'm so thankful that Madison made it through that critical time and that all of us have been blessed with a special girl. I remember most of this story, since my friends and I were praying for her at the time. I'm grateful that I had a few days this summer to get to know her better, too. Happy Birthday, Madison! Love, Grannie Jan

little_rynn said...

One NICU mom to another, I'm crying, too. Happy birth-day, Kiera.

Stephen said...

Does it count if we ugly face cry while we are reading it?!?!

We love you Madison! Have the best sleepover ever!

(And we love your mom and dad too.)

brookieanne76 said...

This was the hardest thing for our entire family to experience. We knew for sure we all liked each other once we spent so much time together in the hospital! I'll never forget when they told me I couldn't see my niece...I wasn't her sibling. Although my baby sister lay in the hosp bed without her baby...they reluctantly allowed me in to see the Chambers baby! I was finally able to enter the NICU and they even let me take my camera in...as u can see from her first pictures above! Here's to you Ms. Lucille!!! I will love you forever <3!!

Meredith said...

from one nicu mom to another....the night i left my michael when I "got" to go home was the single hardest night I have ever had...the feeling was indescribable, as you know.
So happy for your miracle.
God is so good.
meredith

White Diana said...

From one more NICU mom to another: God bless our NICU miracles! I thank God for both of my miracles every day! (Although one took a bigger miracle to get into this world) Isn't it interesting how hard all that was to go through, but thinking back on it seems to make it harder because we know WHO we would have missed out on had God not intervened? And it sure drives us to our knees in gratefulness! When I think about Tyler's NICU month, I don't know how I made it through - just living through that time should be a testament of God's sustaining strength to me....

I love how in Madison's story, God gives the exact verse your family needed for each step of the way - how amazing is He??

Krista said...

Thank you for sharing this miracle! I should be packing to leave for Christmas, but am instead reading your blog and crying! Praise God for your sweet Madison!