FAILED

do you ever have that morning?

the morning were nothing goes right...
everything is wrong...
your coffee hasn't even brewed yet and you know it's going to be bad...
the morning were everyone else is wrong but you....

and then you realize that it's not them...but it's you....
or at least you are some-what to blame...

I had a big fat FAIL today...
or maybe this week...
this is the week that I'm so glad that I don't get report cards or yearly reviews from my supervisor...

I started the week (Monday) trying to be 'fun mom' and get everything done...
I got the kids to school on time and looking good...check
Got to the gym biked and ran...double check
showered and to church to get some work done...half check
...and then I started doing work for other people because I didn't want to let them down...
and I ended up leaving too late to go to lunch with My Beau....
...and pounding a granola bar for my lunch on the way to pick the kids up late from school...
...and running home and yelling at the kids to change into their suits because I booked a swimming play-date today...
...and now very frustrated because I have gotten the first good glimpse at my house in the daylight and it is TRASHED!...and now I am more frustrated at my kids (for being kids and having stuff and needing me to help them when I REALLY need to find a hazmat suit and go back into my house and spray it with some sort of magical chemical that will keep it clean with just the right amount of "lived in" look...not "could there be a dead animal in there" look)...
and then I take them to their swimming play-date
...only for the girl child to swim for all of 2 minutes and disappear inside the house to play and the boy child now left as the only child swimming and whining because he wants mom to swim,
....but I can't swim because my freshly red hair
          (yep I went RED, not red hair red, but Crayola Crayon Red)
     will stain my suit....
...and now the swim play date is over and both kids are complaining that they didn't get to swim...
     .....and some how this is my fault....
...and now we are back home, and kids have homework...
...but still wanting to be 'fun mom' I say 'yes' to eating dinner at a friends house
          both kids begged me to, when I said out loud,
         'well, we probably shouldn't'
and because I'm crazy and I also wanted to go...
so now homework gets half done, and we race out the door for dinner fun...
...and then race back home so the kids can be to bed on time...

now it's Tuesday morning the third week of school
 and I wake up to start my day like I did every morning during the summer...
...ME TIME...
I sit down at the computer and read some blogs, check out facebook...
look at the clock and realize that I need to wake the kids up,
...call out to them from my cozy seat in front of the computer, "Wake up kids!"
...read another blog or two, look at the clock again...wow the kids still aren't up...
"KIDS, GET OUT OF BED!"  shouted, lovingly said from my cozy seat at the computer...
another glance at facebook....seriously what is wrong with those kids?!?!
sheesh!
Do have have to be their mother and go get them out of bed...
....
oh...YES....
girl child upset that she didn't finish her homework...
boy child upset because mom forgot we had no milk...
mom child upset because she still hasn't brewed her coffee...
girl child decides to do homework rather than get ready for school...
boy child still pouting about milk...
girl child pulls out last weeks spelling test that she got a D on and is really upset....
boy child upset because mom didn't read to him the night before and the teacher says that his homework is mom reading to him...so now his homework isn't done either....
mom child frustrated with herself for not helping the girl child the day before with homework...
     frustrated that she struggled with spelling
          and now her poor daughter is cursed with her poor spelling skills...
    frustrated that she didn't read to her son the night before...
frustrated because she can't remember if she even hugged her kids the day before let alone read to them...
frustrated for forgetting the milk, and for not setting the coffee the night before...
...frustrated mom child gets more frustrated with children that move too slow in the morning...
yelling...yelling...and more yelling...
because that's helping the situation somehow?...
HOW do I not see that my growing level of frustration and yelling helps NO ONE and gets nothing accomplished EXCEPT making everyone feel little and helpless...
...
I want my restart button...
I want to crawl in bed and restart this week, because this week I get a FAIL

but Hey...I did go get milk....
so maybe I get a D today and not an F...