Thursday, April 28, 2011

my own form of torture

making the girl child clean out her clothes and it's torture...
these are the rules
*does it fit
*do you wear it
*do you like it
if the answer is 'no' to any of those it goes in the donate bag

and seriously...every.single.item...
she takes it out and asks me...
"should I get rid of this?"...

so again I say
"does it you wear you like it"

and she will say,
"well, I sorta like it."
me-"but do you wear it?"
her-"well, not really"
me-"why not?"
her-"cuz it doesn't fit me any more"
me-"so did you answer 'no' to the does it fit question & the do you wear it question?"
her-"well, sort of, I guess"
me-"than it goes in the bag"

then the next item

she takes it out and asks me...
"should I get rid of this?"..

so again I say
"does it you wear you like it"

and she will say,
"well, I don't really wear it."
me-"why not?"
her-"cuz I really don't like it"
me-"so did you answer 'no' to the does it does it fit & the do you like it question?"
me-"so it goes in the bag"
her-"but it does fit me"
me-"doesn't matter, just one 'no' and it goes in the bag and this one has 2 no's"

and then the opposite...
the boy child wants in on this torture...
getting his own bag without asking and filling it
only my rules for him are different...
*does it fit
*does mommy want you to wear if for some event or picture taking opportunity that she will force you to wear something that you'd never wear unless there was some serious bribing going on
*does mommy have some vision of you wearing it all the time and looking like some adorable little boy that would never live in Pokemon and Bakugan t-shirts

so now while I am once again going thru the above conversation with girl child I am taking clothes out of the boy child's bag and saying, 
"well, I thought if we happened go to a nice garden wedding this summer you could maybe wear that"
have we been invited to a wedding?
do we even know anyone getting married?
would I even take a 5 year old boy to a wedding?

"and this shirt would look really handsome if I got one in the same color for your dad to wear and I got a picture of the two of you playing catch together in our back yard"
can I ever get Beau to wear what I want him to?
do they ever play catch in our back yard?
do we even have a back yard?
why did I decided to do this on spring break?!

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