Monday, April 11, 2011

"Is that how you were raised?"

I know my own parents would ask me this question as a child...
and I, in turn have asked my children the same question....

last week at school the girl child had what we will call...
'the granola bar incident'
during lunch, girls were being girls, laughing and having fun...
and then before she knew it one of the girls had taken Madison's granola bar...
she asked for it back and never got it back...apparently the bar ended up getting passed to someone else and that person ate it...
long story short, we had Madison tell the teacher that the granola bar was taken out of her lunch..
blog note...we don't care about the granola bar...but as a parent I would want to know if my child took someones else lunch and gave it to other people...so that being the case we had Madison let the teacher know...

Madison's teacher is an amazingly fair teacher who has a heart to mold and guide her students not only to be good learners but to be positive citizens of the world.

When Madison teacher was talking to the girl that took the granola bar the girl was very remorseful and sorry, and said that yes she took the bar and knew that she shouldn't have...
the teacher than asked the girl...
"Is that how you were raised?"...
knowing the answer to that question already...
OF COURSE NOT!...

the mother of this little girl had now taken the "granola bar incident' to the principle because not only is her child innocent (her story changed once she talked to her mom), but now, because of that simple rhetorical question, the teacher has accused the mother of teaching her daughter how to steal!
when the teacher said, 'Is that how you were raised?'...the mother took that to mean that the teacher is implying that the mother has been teaching the girl how to steal?!?

seriously...
SE.RI.OUS.LY!!!

wow, have you ever heard of a rhetorical question?
(made myself chuckle, asking a rhetorical question about a rhetorical question...yep, I'm a nerd!)

when I say to my child "Where you born in a barn?"
 
...I'm not calling myself a cow...I'm reminding them that our home is a home and you treat it as such, NOT a barn....

when I say to my child, "Was I born yesterday?"...
I'm not saying that I am younger than them...I am making the point that I WASN'T born yesterday and that I might just know what I'm talking about....

when I ask, "Would you jump off a bridge if all your friends did?"....
I'm not asking them to jump off a bridge...I'll hopefully letting them know that just because your friends choose to do stupid stunts I would expect them to make safe choices!

and when I say, "Is that how you were raised?", when they've done something I don't think they should have done...I'm not saying, 'I raised you to steal...or talk bad...or throw your garbage on the ground...etc"  I am saying that NO you were NOT raised like that and you KNOW better!

the crazy "granola bar incident" of '11 will hopefully serve as a reminder to Madison that we do what is right no matter what.

we are not raising our children to be tattlers,
but we are raising them to stand up for what is good & just,
for themselves and others.

Our 'rule' or guideline on talking to an adult about something and making sure it's NOT tattling...
Did something or someone get hurt/broken/damaged or can they get hurt/broken/damaged?
...and we look at that in a "big picture" answer...did Madison having her granola bar stolen get hurt?  NO...but would it hurt this other girl to get away with taking something that's not hers?...YES...
AND, Yes, that IS how I was raised!

2 comments:

The Fowers' Family said...

I commented on this but then it didn't go through. I basically said that the parent of this other child doesn't want the attention on her child so is now making the issue with how the teacher responded (which is totally how I would have responded as a teacher.) The mother should have her daughter apologizing to Madison and bringing her a granola bar to make up for it. But then the mother would be admitting that her daughter did something wrong.
Also the cafeteria is always having food issues and the lunch duties don't really make a big deal out of it. Dawson has had food taken more than once. Natalie had someone pour milk all over her lunch-she ended up having to go hungry that day.

Mr. Smith said...

funny - really.