Thursday, September 30, 2010

Who Am I?

has it really happened?

okay, so they say if you do something for 28 days it becomes a habit....

well exercising isn't something I can do EVERY day...but I can try to do it at about 5 times a week...

so I had a vision last January that I shared with you guys...
a vision about the woman I wanted to be...
that I never saw myself becoming...

so maybe my vision has changed some...
I wanted to be the woman that got up early and went running...
well I'll get up early and run on a Saturday...
but school mornings are just a little too crazy...
and this summer I would take the girl to her swim team practice
     and run the track while she swam laps...

I wanted to be the woman that ran in all different types of weather...
and I can say I've ran in the ran...
...the POURING rain....
pouring so hard my pants were being pulled off by the rain....
and I've ran in the heat...REAL honest to goodness HEAT
     I live in Redding, CA...don't think I need to say much more on that!
haven't ran in the snow or fog...but that's just because as I said...I live in Redding.

I do grab my cell phone...not sure you want to know where I 'hold' it while I run...
I also...
when I remember...
which I'm getting MUCH better about...
grab my inhaler...I 'hold' that on the other side...

haven't ran past the doughnut shop, but that's not in the direction I run...
I do run past a school
and a park
and a dog park
and an airport...a very small airport...but it counts
when I'm running in my neighborhood...
but I really really love to run the river trail near my home...
yes...I drive to a place to run...but it's beautiful...

I don't run with my ipod...but I do have a MP3 player and when I can figure out how to make it work and not keep repeating songs and driving me crazy I do run with it...but only with one ear bud in...don't want no cars or bikers hitting me!

I learned that I can run on a treadmill if it's 110 outside...
I don't like to run on the treadmill but sometimes it the only option when you live in Redding...

I have learned that when I run I should probably eat a banana or yogurt before I go and NOT to pound that cup of coffee otherwise I will have to pee before my run is over...and if I'm running in my neighborhood...well there's no place to stop to pee...and if I'm running the river trail it's a nasty out house!

and guess what happened...something that I didn't envision when I had the vision of this woman I was hoping to become...
I never thought about how I would feel about doing all of that...

not sure when it happened...
it wasn't that long ago...
maybe a month...
I stopped doing all of the running...
and biking...
and swimming...
because I was training....
I started going out because I wanted to run...
needed to run...
had to run...
I haven't ran all week...I have had a crazy busy week with too many things to get done and not enough hours...and I haven't ran all week...and every morning on my drive back from dropping the kids off at school I have been sad knowing that I can't just go home, put on my running shoes...grab my cell phone and inhaler and hit the pavement...

I never realized that the woman in the vision needed to run...
I figured that she did it because...
well...because that's what the skinny girl does, she runs

but now I get it...now I know that she needs to run....

her kids were driving her crazy and fighting and annoying...so she needed to run

she had no idea what she was going to make for dinner because she hasn't had time...or the money...to grocery shop for over a week...so she needed to run

she had a frustrating thing happen at work...so she needed to run

she had way too much laundry to fold and put away...so she needed to run

she needed to just have an hour without thinking of anything else...
breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out....

I need to run
I have to run
I want to run
I like to run....

5 comments:

Trudy Rose said...

I think it is wonderful that you "need" to run. I was one never inclined to exercise no matter what the weather! Of course now that I look back on my life I did exercise, I played a lot of tennis! Once the child came along and I became a single parent I found it harder and harder to make time for much of anything. I am very proud of you, cousin! You are looking very well (and I can actually see a bit of Brook in you!) and more and more like your Mom! Stay focused and be proud! Love reading your blog! Much love and keep writing (and of course keep running!)! Trudy

Linda said...

I'm just so proud of you for setting such a high goal and then actually achieving it, not just once, but twice and probably many more times in the future! And through achieving your goal of participating in the sprint tri, you have discovered a really healthy activity that you NEED to do! Whoo Hoo!

Susan said...

Wow, that almost brought a tear to my eye...and you know I don't cry. But wow, thank you. I had a similar feeling this year as I realized that my childbearing years and body are behind me. I wanted to be about me going forward. I started my mission in June and am now down 24 lbs and starting to see abs again. I work out because I want to. What a great feeling!

Ann said...

You inspire me! I just started running last week. Hopefully, I can stick with it. : )

little_rynn said...

LOVE this. You're singing my song, sister!