the swim test

back story to the story.....
we have 2 different swimmers in our family...
the girl child is a fish...
     has always had confidence in the water
     even when she didn't have form she had confidence,
     she just knew...she had FAITH she wasn't going to drown
     and she loves the water
    as a some-what-shy toddler and preschooler she had no problem taking a swim class,
          in fact she loved taking them

the boy child...he's been a totally different animal
     and not a water one
     has never believed he could swim, even when he can
     swim lessons have always been a fight
     one year he even refused to 'dress' for lessons and wore his jeans, I still made him get in the water with his jeans (not a happy little boy)
     he likes to swim....sometimes...half the time he'll chose to stay home with dad!
   
okay...the swim test!

last week of school (2 weeks ago) boy child's 1st grade class is going on a swim party field trip to the YMCA (the pool that we swim at most of the time).

The swim party is taking place at the outdoor pool that looks like this

the kids need to pass the 'swim test' to get the green wrist band and swim just on the other side of the rope from the shallow pool into the first swim lane
(a place where the kids can actually stand up in...but since the depth gradually increases to a point where they can't touch they need to take the test).

the swim test starts at the deep end and the kids must swim the length of the pool

the lifeguards were great,
one of them has been Wilson's swim teacher a few times,
Mr. Steve, he's a great guy that is amazing with kids, builds confidence in the water and has just an amazing heart for kids.
they had the kids jump in and swim... if/when they got a little tired they could grab onto the wall for a short break and then continue swimming.
by the time Wilson has decided he wants to take the swim test about 15 kids have already taken the test and passed...these 'green wrist band' kids are not swimming in the deep end they are all playing and splashing and stuff down in the shallow area

Wilson does great...
He jumps in, and he is swimming without stopping, he's closer to the swim lane (rope) and not the wall, not stopping to rest because he's too far away to grab on the wall.
He makes it down to the 'shallow' area...where he can actually touch...
and he hits a wall of inner-tubes, swim noodles, beach balls and kids...

he freezes...he doesn't move...
at this point he can actually touch, but he doesn't...
he doesn't swim under any of the things in the water
he doesn't move any of the water toys, he won't even touch them

boy child panics...and even though he can touch he almost drowns right here because he's stuck in the doggy paddle and is TIRED because he's just swam the entire length of the pool without resting....

the lifeguard has to throw him the lifeguard flotation thingy
(it's not the ol' round life preserver thingy that we all think about, but those long red foamy things...)
anyways, once Wilson sees the lifeguard throw that towards him his panic doubles...
"I'm getting rescued...that mean's I'm drowning!"
...he panics and doesn't grab it...lifeguard throws it again...
Wilson grabs it this time and is pulled to safety...10 feet away!

So, Wilson FAILED the swim test...
even though he swam so far, he panicked and had no idea how to swim or get to safety...not good...

kids that failed the swim test received a red-wrist band so the life guards knew what kids could be where.
Mr. Steve talks Wilson into re-taking the swim test...talking to him about how to get thru the 'water-hazard' at the end...

and guess what...same thing happens...
and now...
Wilson has FAILED the swim test twice...

What Wilson didn't see...won't see...can't see...
is that he SWAM almost the entire length of the pool...TWICE...
he SWAM in the deep end...
he never needed to grab the wall to rest...
TWICE...he swam twice the length and never reached out to rest on the wall!
HE CAN SWIM....
he only sees a failed red wrist band

fast-forward to the next week...first week of summer vacation...
and...
da.da.dum...
swim team...yep, I have boy child (both actually) signed up for swim team...

same pool...what happens...
Wilson doesn't swim...
the boy gets in the water....strokes twice...grabs the wall...
'monkey-arms' it about 20 feet...strokes twice...grabs the wall....
repeat...
all the way to the end...
and repeat for the entire 1 hour swim practice!
!

ARGH...
why?
He knows in his head that he FAILED the swim test...
he "can't" swim!

I convince swim coach that my son can in fact swim so please don't kick him off swim team...
(yep, I was that mom!  SHEESH)
and then sign him up for swim lessons...

fast-forward 2 weeks...
Wilson has now been on swim team 2 weeks...and taken 2 weeks of swim lessons...
and he has yet to swim the same distance he did for the 'failed' swim test...
his coach knows he can swim and has let him remain on the swim team...he's done amazing at his lessons...
but still he 'knows' he can't swim because he failed the swim test...

as a parent I can tell him over and over and over again that
He Can Swim...
all he can see is that red wrist band that told him he couldn't...
...
I have wondered ever since that fateful 'swim test'...

God, 
Do I have a failed swim test in my life?  Do I see the 'flotation devices' in my life as water hazards?
Have You told me over and over and over again that I can do something...
Yet, I keep pointing to my failures and telling you that I can't do it?  
Showing you where I failed, how I failed, how I'm not equipped to do what you've asked of me...pointing to my failed red wrist band and saying GOD, you have no idea what I can't do, but I know I can't do it!

Ouch...
I am grateful for the spiritual lessons my children teach me!

God, 
Remind me that I can swim...that I'm not swimming alone, and that you are always my lifeguard even when I can touch the bottom...and that my failed red wrist bands are ones that I have put on myself or the world has...not ones that you put there!