Letter to My Daughter

I heard on the radio this morning that the number one person that influences a girls personal image is her mother...eek!

There are also hundred's of studies that say how important a fathers role in a girls life is...
A healthy relationship with her brother is also very important...
Healthy relationships with her extended family are important...

I know this...I know that both my husband and I play a huge roll in our daughter's self image...
I also know I will fail her.
I know my husband will fail her.
Her brother will fail her..
Her grandparents, aunts, uncles & cousins will fail her...

Guess what, I don't need a study to tell me...
the number one most important relationship my daughter needs to become a healthy, responsible woman with a great self image...
Her relationship with her Creator God, Abba Father, Jesus Christ...

He.Will.Never. fail her!

and because of this I decided to write her a letter....

Dear Sweet Daughter of Mine,

I love you more than you can fathom {that is, until you have your own children, but until then}.  I want you to have a life filled to the brim with love & joy.

What I want you to know...need you to know.
You are designed to be loved.  
We all know that deep in our core, that we are created for love.  
But please never confuse what that love is.  You were created by the God of the universe to be loved by the God of the universe.  In the deepest part of your soul you will yearn for that love and search for that love.  
Make no mistake that you deserve that love, there is nothing wrong with this desire to be love.
But know this,
that NO man, no woman, no child on this earth that can love you enough to fulfill that need.  
God created that desire so that you would seek Him.

I love you more than you can fathom, but my love for you is nothing compared to God.
Your father loves you more than you can fathom, but his love is nothing compared to God's love for you.

Also, I am so very blessed to have met, fallen in love with, married and fallen more in love with your father.  
But guess what...
He is not my soul mate...  
He does not 'complete me'...
If for some reason your father was not in my life I would be sad, terribly sad, but I would go on and live the life that God created me to live, because my life is not set on a earthly man that I have chosen to live my life with.  No man on earth can make me whole!
My life is set on the Heavenly Father I have chosen to seek after.

You are beautiful.  Yes, I am your mother and because of that I will always believe you are beautiful.  But I also know that you are beautiful because of who created you.  
No article of clothing, hair style, make up brush can make you more beautiful than God Himself.  I will tell you that you are beautiful, your father will tell you that you are beautiful, your grandparents, friends, aunts & uncle, will tell you that you are beautiful {your brother may not, but that's just because he's your little brother!}, and someday, when you are grown {35'ish}, men will tell you that you are beautiful...those words, my words, "daughter, you are beautiful" aren't what make you beautiful!  You need to tuck this away in your heart, hear it over and over, what makes you beautiful is that the God of the Universe, the God that formed the stars in the sky, the mountains & oceans, paints the sunsets each night, that God...He.Created.You.  He formed you!  He drew the curve of your cheek, placed the twinkle in your eyes, counted every hair on your head, knew the size of your feet and the strength of your legs....  He is why you are beautiful!  You are not beautiful because your father and I tell you, you are beautiful because He says so!

That life filled to the brim with love & joy that I mentioned at the beginning of this letter...that isn't something that just happens.  And notice I didn't say a life without pain.  Not that I want you to have a life of pain, but I also know that pain helps us grow, that pain turns us to our Creator.  The greatest pain so far in my life was the first 17 days of your life...not knowing if you, my precious daughter, would live.  But that pain turned me into the arms of my God.  I sought out His Love and Peace and through that pain my life was filled with love & joy.  
God's plan for your life is to 
"prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 
{Jeremiah 29:11}......but don't stop reading the passage there...keep reading...
"Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord."
We need to seek God with all our heart...God's plan 'not to harm us' plays into the fact that we are seeking Him!  Not seeking a life free of pain, not seeking to be beautiful, not seeking to find a man to share it with...
When you seek God and allow HIS plan to dictate your life, that is when the remainder of His plan for prosperity & hope will become fulfilled ...
oh, and prosperity isn't 'the American dream'...God's idea of prosperity looks a little different.  Prosperity is a heart issue not a bank account number!

There is so much more that I want you to know.  So I will end this letter with...
"till next time!"
Your loving, faithful, full of mistakes mom!

okay, this is the deal...

I live in a place that has hot summers...

like VERY hot summers...

but, this is the thing...they may be hot...
but it's a 'Dry Heat!'

this is a typical conversation...
someone that doesn't live in Redding, CA,
     "How can you live there, it's so HOT?"
someone who lives in Redding,
     "Well, it's a dry heat!"

and we are very {very} proud of our dry heat...

but then, this week something horrible happened...


115+ heat {today's high is supposed to be 117!}
37% humidity!

guess what people?

That's.NOT.a.dry.heat!

and folks, that's where pride gets ya...we get all proud of our dry heat and smack, right in the kisser, 37% humidity with 117 degrees outside...

it's like having extra sweat glands on the outside of your body!!!
nasty sweaty swollen glands...

This Happened

 15 years ago today!

 we became husband and wife....

there was some kissing....

some laughing...

 and dancing...

and yes...we were children!

I'm not going to blog about
*15 things I've learned in 15 years or
*15 reasons why I love him more now or
*15 things I wish I knew before I got married...

I just wanted to simply say that getting married at 20, although young, was the best thing I have ever done.  I am thankful to God for putting Beau into my life, thankful we married when we did, thankful we chose to have our children when we did...
Beau is a great husband...he's not perfect...
I think I might be an okay wife...I'm not perfect...
we try to always communicate our feelings...
we don't always do that as calm, rational adults...
but we do communicate...
I know he's not a mind reader...
even when I drop amazingly obvious hints...
I can't get mad at him when I haven't communicated what I need or want from him.

Our goal for our marriage is to be in relationship with God and each other and to grow in that relationship.  We are not trying to change the other person {or train, like some would say} into the man or woman we want them to be.  We are hopefully helping each other grow and change and become the man & woman God would have us be.

and that, for us, is what marriage is all about.

Our marriage has been blessed and for that I am thankful!

I love you Beau!

summer plan...where are you?

Last summer I was all over it...I had our summer plan planned before school ended...
I knew how to make our summer not too boring, and not to scheduled and we had a wonderful summer...

We are 2 weeks into summer and I keep thinking I need to look at last years plan...so I finally did, this morning...wow I was on top of it!

We did start the summer by camping on the Oregon Coast {only a 7 hr drive on the last day of school!}...

I can also see how things are a little different this summer but I still like the basic idea...and to top it off the kids and I have been brainstorming some 'bucket list' ideas, things we want to do before summer is over!

Here is our plan for summer this year...

*Swim Team again...and boy to they love it {sarcasm!}, it's a little earlier this year starting at 8 rather than 8:30 and that 30 min make a HUGE deal...there have been 4 practices so far and my kids have made 2 of them, {that's 50%}...I'm buckling down on bed times this week so they can actually wake up...and by 'buckling down' they need to be in bed by 9:30, last week they were getting in bed after 11, it was CRA.ZA.Y! around here, we took the whole "Schools out for Summer!" and lost it a little!
anyways, M-W-F an hour in the pool...it's great for them!

*Summer Reading Program...they are signed up for the reading program at the library, and the boy child will participate in the Barnes & Noble Summer Reading again {it only goes to 6th grade and girl child is going into 7th!...so disappointed in B&N for not continuing to reward and encourage older kids to read!}.  The reading is actually huge this summer, the girl child got reading glasses the last day of school,

that coupled with the 'reward' for completing the Library Summer Reading {for teens} is that they are entered into a drawing for a Kindle...she has had her nose in a book most afternoons, this.is.not.normal!  I usually have to encourage reading using various little tricks, but I have actually said to her, "you need to put that book down!"  Seriously, this is a sentence I never thought I would utter in my life to her, I am so blissfully excited about her reading!!!

*Piano...summer is the easiest time of year for them to buckle down and actually get in ALL of their daily piano practicing and listening {they have a CD that they are supposed to listen to daily}...and it helps me when they are begging to watch something or play a video game to say, "have you done your piano yet?"...

*Summer Journal...I didn't do this last summer and it was obvious when school started up again that they weren't use to writing...we have always done summer journals, not sure why I flaked last summer, and when Wilson was too young to journal he had a summer doodle book, where he would draw things he had done.

*Limited Screen Time...I know it's summer and summer is all about zoning out and losing yourself in tv right?  wrong...I HATE the kids to be zoned out in front of that thing!  But I also know it's summer so I relax my tone just a bit.  They are allowed 30 min screen time before they have to do their reading and piano for the day, and then after that I will look at our day and decide if they need/can have any more screen time....but also depending on the day we may be too busy for them to have their 30 min before reading & piano and I may use it as a reward for them getting all their tasks done and with a good attitude.

Now for our weekly 'schedule' {I use that term loosely, it is summer}
Movie Monday's...either a trip to the 'dollar theater' or a movie at home.

Work Day Tuesday's...this is the day we will pack up and I will drag them into work with me {they can take their bikes and ride in the HUGE empty parking lot}!  And then when we get home they will do any 'work' they need to around the house above and beyond their normal daily chores {clean bathrooms, organize bedrooms, help to clean the garage, weeding, etc}...I figured we should get this done earlier in the week...help the rest of the week go more smoothly.

Activity Wednesday...their piano lessons are early {right after swim and before lunch} so we have the whole afternoon to do whatever, this is one of the days we'll try to check items off our bucket list.  This is also the day that the library has activities planned that correlate with their summer reading program...
And of course it's church night, this is a great night for them to have a friend spend the night because they can come to church with us {or pick them up from church} and bonus no swim team Thursday morning so they can play all they want on Thursday.

Bucket List Thursday...I will let the kids sleep in while I head into work and get a few hours of stuff done, my goal is to be home by 10:30 on Thursdays...then we will do an item or two from our bucket list, we'll probably choose the items at the beginning of the week so we can plan accordingly.

Family Fridays...Friday is Beau's day off so we will treat it like a Saturday and just do whatever needs to be done or whatever we want to do....hopefully we can also check off more bucket list ideas on these days.

to create the Bucket List I opened up my pinterest and had the kids look over ideas I had pinned in 'School Vacation,' 'Yum - Cookies,' & 'Craft Ideas'...and other ideas were just theirs...

and now the Bucket List!!!

just in case you can't read the list above or want links to some of the ideas...

flubber ... Paper beads … Glitter play dough ...  paint rocks …Glow in the dark slime … Newspaper fort ... Bubble week {giant bubbles, bubble blowers, bubble snake}... Water blob … Bleach t-shirts ... Soda can jewelry ... Duct tape purse & Wallet … paint t-shirts ...  homemade tootsie rolls... homemade nutter butters ... Make pudding pops ... Make butter ... make bagels... Bake treats for neighbors ... film a cooking show ... Circus animal cookie truffles … Berry picking ... Kayak {picnic on an island}... Bowling ... Museum ... Zoo beach {sand castles} ... go to the snow {Lassen National Park usually still has snow in late July}... Bumpass Hell ... Sun River {we usually go to Sun River every summer with my in-laws, great summer place}... bike river trail ... Build a catapult ... Make sling shots ... origami ...  Fireworks

.....
so that's our summer...
do you try to organize your summer with a plan or do you just let it happen?

He Doesn't Babysit

Nope, my husband doesn't babysit!
And will NEVER babysit our children!

He is their father...gave them 1/2 of their DNA...why would anyone ever assume that he would merely 'babysit' his own children!?!?

We live in a era that women are put on a pedestal for all they do...glorifying women and all their choices...{don't get me wrong, I think some women are pretty darn amazing}...but for some reason to make everyone believe that women are amazing we had to be fed this plate of lies that men are idiots!  That the only way women can be amazing is if men are the opposite.

Sitcoms show us the bumbling, stupid father that can't make a trip to the store without making a mistake.

Commercials show us that the biggest challenge a diaper can be put to is to leave a diaper clad baby in the care of their father while a football game is on, because a father is to single minded to watch a sport and care for their child!

And society in general...they always assume if a man is with children he is 'babysitting' them, that he's 'stuck with the kids' for the day...that no man would actually choose to parent their own children, choose to hang out with their kids and be their dad!

Let's get real here, I believe in equality...some women are pretty darn amazing...and there are plenty of men that are bumbling idiots...
but their are plenty of women that share the title of bumbling idiots!  And there are some pretty darn amazing men!

I married one...and had his babies...

and he will never babysit our children...he is their father...he will parent our children!

When they were babies he changed diapers, he burped them, he fed them {when they weren't nursing}, he bathed them, dressed them, rocked them to sleep as infants, read to them, sang to them.

As they grow his role is changing, he still tucks them in each night and reads with them, helps them with their homework, makes them dinner, washes dishes or sits back and relaxes now that our children wash the dishes.

He has taught them that being yourself is way more important than being what others want you to be.

He takes them to old bookstores and thrift stores {helping them to respect the things from past generations}.

He teaches them about music; from Benny Goodman, to the Beatles, to Abba, to Journey, to Michael Jackson, to U2 {my kids can play the "who's this band/singer?" game WAY better than I will ever hope to}.

He helps them with their piano or just sits and plays with them.

He takes them on bike rides.

He dates our daughter, teaching her how and what to expect from the men in her future.

He plays games with them {board games, card games, video games, role playing games}.

Starting from a young age he taught them the history of the original Star Wars {and although he's morally opposed to the new movies has left it up to them to make their own choice}.

He is teaching them to mow the lawn.

He watches 1950's horror movies with them.

He takes them kayaking.

He has taught our son that hair style doesn't make you a man.

He loves & respects their mother.

He baptized both of our children!

He has taught them to pray, he has taught them to seek out God's truths in their lives, he has help them memorize God's word. He has put God first in his life and has modeled for them how to live a life that glorifies God.

He has never.once.babysat our children!  From day one he has been their father.

Happy Father's Day Beau, I love you, thanks for being my babies' daddy!

Summer Menu {1/2 camping addition}

a fast little menu post while I have a break in between errands...

School is out tomorrow...it is HOT here in Redding...headed towards 110 on Saturday!
{so sad that we'll be at the Oregon coast in the 60 degree weather and missing the 100's}

Making menu's around the weather is a must, no soup or hot baked dishes for summer in Redding,
I.just.can't.do.it!

Our Menu

tonight-breakfast {eggs, bacon, fruit}

tomorrow night =McD's for us...{our kids get McDonald's twice a year, 1st day of school and last day of school...}

Friday & Saturday- Camping food {chili dogs one night, hamburgers the next}
we have a few camping desserts planned camp fire cones, baked apples & of course S'Mores

source: Chef Jessica Bright

source: Cooking Outside the Box

Sunday -sandwiches and leftover camping buffet {we'll probably be driving, so we'll just snack, and stop and make a sandwich on the road somewhere}

Monday-Chicken Patty Sandwiches {girl child's request}

Tuesday-grilled chicken pasta salad {so many recipes for this}

Wednesday-Indian Taco's

source: the Pioneer Woman

Thursday-Tuscan Garlic Chicken

source: the Recipe Critic 

Friday-Easy Mandarin Chicken

source: Yummy. Healthy. Easy 

Saturday-Honey Mustard Pretzel Crusted Chicken with Salad

source: Half Baked Harvest

and that's all I have for now...
what's a favorite for your family in the summer...

Daddy Issues

This post has been in my heart for awhile now...and with Father's Day right around the corner I needed to get it out....

Don't we all have them...?
Daddy Issues

we have these images of superman type fathers...

Why is that?
I have a pretty decent, loving, good father...
but guess what, he's human!  My father was not, and is not, perfect!

I know women and men with daddy issues...
I know those that have never known their father
Those that wish they never knew their father
Those that had dads like mine
and those with amazing, Ward Cleaver fathers....

all of them...Have. Daddy. Issues...

why?  why is having daddy issues so universal?
maybe, just maybe, it's because we have this need ingrained into each and every one of us for a perfect heavenly Father.

Why do you think God tells us He is our father?  Maybe He knows...because He created us....that we all have this natural desire for a perfect father figure and yet no man on earth can ever 100% fulfill that roll!

Guess what else...?
we women,
we {and by 'we', I mean me} take these daddy issues and we bring them into our marriages...
however horrible or wonderful {or wherever they fall on the scale} our fathers were/are...we bring our daddy issues into our marriages and project them onto our husbands!  we either choose husbands that are the opposite of our fathers or husbands that are very similar to our fathers and then hold up these unrealistic expectations for them to be nothing like our fathers or everything like our fathers...

and when they fall short of either one of those marks we fight, kicking and screaming that they are failing us...
{pause...
I am in no way saying any husband is perfect...
just like no father is perfect, they are all human}
but as wives have we taken our daddy issues and rather than turn towards our Heavenly Father to fulfill our needs we turn towards our husband and try to mold him into something he can't possibly be.  trying to get him to fill shoes that he can never fill....

remember that stupid line from Jerry McGuire,
"you complete me!"...
UGH, I've hated that from the moment I heard it... but that's what we're all trying to find, we're trying to find the man that will fill all the holes that our earthly fathers left gaping open...God is the ONLY one that can complete us, and it's a lifelong journey!

we all have daddy issues...
because we all need a perfect dad
we try to mold our husbands using all the daddy issues we came into the relationship with...
we don't want our kids to have daddy issues
and we want our husbands to fill our need that our daddy issues left in us...
our fathers & our husbands also have daddy issues
and our kids... yep, they will have daddy issues also
we were created with a need that no earthly father can ever live into!

but guess what?
we have a perfect father...He can help heal our daddy issues, help our children with their daddy issues and help our marriages not suffer because of them....

See how very much our Father loves us, for He calls us His children, and that is what we are!

 ~ 1 John 3:1 

Your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

 ~ Matthew 6:8

I will be a Father to you and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.

 ~ 2 Corinthians 6:18